Another Long Winded Post

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MOI!!!

Update (again) time! While I'm glad that there's so much going on in my life that I barely have time to breathe (see: below), I do miss being a reliable source of drama for our readers!!! If we still have any left - I will try to be better!!!

In true SS fashion - this post leads to a rant. God... I fit the bill for angry black woman to a T... SHAME!

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I finally put on my big girl panties and moved out on my own! I live right in the heart of Atlanta in an area known as Midtown in the most perfect location for someone like me. I'm near a huge shopping/eating center called Atlantic Station (probably a 10 min. walk or a sweet 5 min. ride on one of the free shuttles offered to and from there).

They've got all the stores and some amazing restaurants and sports bars there so I should continue to be nice and broke living near it lol. Within a 5 minute walk in any direction of me there are great restaurants and stores and clubs - all of which I plan to visit (again - brokeness). I live like a block away from a Marta station too. Instead of my old hour and a half commute to work- I just hop on the train and am there in 15 minutes. Consequently, I was actually late everyday last week...just couldn't get the timing right!

So what prompted this huge move you ask? A bit of back-story - I was living with my mom and brothers to try to save money for school in 08. I ended up taking a second year off of school because my mom had to quit her job in order to start receiving disability payments; this was the end of '08 and she still hasn't been accepted into the program so that lets you know what life has been like! Unfortunately, neither of my brothers were "able to work" which translates more into - refused to find jobs, so my menial paycheck stretched to feed all of us and keep us housed (my mother did receive some money from the military but not much...). Needless to say '09 was a bust in terms of paying off some loans and saving some cash so I took ANOTHER year off. Realizing that it was impossible for me to save cash living in that situation, I decided to just apply to some law schools and see what happened. Hopefully I could get in with some scholarships and escape this cycle! I got in to some (yay) but no scholarships were offered (aw) because I applied so late in the cycle. At least I got my feet wet!

So again what inspired me to move and continue to be broke?

Someone did something very stupid and has a bundle of joy that will be joining us in February. Someone put their dreams of going to school and improving their life on hold all because of one mistake.

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My 22 year old brother knocked his "girlfriend" up!!!!

HAH you thought I'D be that stupid?! Re-read the posts boo - I don't make mistakes like that (although I am currently knocking on wood and swearing off penis just in case...). The move was prompted by the fact that he decided that her and her 14 year old son and the baby could just move into our place under the guise of "getting section 8 and moving out on our own soon". Yea...heard that shit before. Hes been "looking for a job" since '08 and hasn't worked a day since I've been here. No one's that unlucky! Of course, no one TOLD me they were moving in. I come home on a Friday to see all their stuff in our living room and I'm like "WTF". I was told that they were headed back to New Orleans that Monday but needed a place to crash the weekend so I agreed. HAH... two weeks pass and I'm a prisoner in my own home. I can't go in my living room to watch the cable I pay for because the kid is always playing a video game or watching some stupid shit. I cant go in the kitchen because she's always in there making food I don't want to eat (but that I paid for...). I want them gone so badly but I don't want to put them on the street since I know they have nowhere to go.

So I call from work one day with then intention of telling my brother that they need to go NOW. I've got my speech all worked up and ready to go and I'm riding on so much adrenaline. They're eating up all of our food and I can't afford to house them in the tiny apartment barely big enough for the original people living there. My name is on the damn lease after all, and I'm pissed that no one once asked my opinion or consulted me on whether or not more people could move in. I make the call:

Me: We need to talk right now about your girlfriend and her son. Two weeks have passed and they are still there. You said they were headed to NO about two weeks ago... why did you lie? They need to be gone when I get home.

Him: I never said she was leaving... he was supposed to go back but now there's a problem.

Me: There's no problem...they need to go. I can't afford to feed all of you and take care of all of you.

Him: There's a problem....

Me: She pregnant isn't she?

Him: Yes.

Funny how you're able to guess these type of things. Maybe its because I'm a pessimist? I slammed down the phone and screamed FUCKING IDIOT at work so loud. I'm still waiting on HR to fire me (I had my review and still work there so I think I'm ok!). Then I proceeded to cry and wander around aimlessly. I wanted to kill him!!!! How could they be so FUCKING stupid?!

Needless to say - within a week and a half I had found a new apartment and moved out on my own. My mother, though I love her, is not the type to stand up for herself or put anyone out (as evidenced by a 30 year old son sitting around leeching as well as a 22 year old) so the situation is never going to change. All I can do is what is best for me for now!

That pretty much sums up the drama for the past few months - am I in a soap opera or what...? Damn!


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My Job and Me... REALLY? A JOB?!

Take my absence and recent silence on this blog as a good thing; it only means I'm preoccupied by things I clearly value.

On Monday of this past week I began working as an intern for a Music licensing and branding firm in NY. This firm has the HOOK UP, and has placed and licensed music for some of the biggest commercials and TV spots out there. Obviously, me being a music lover, I'm more that ecstatic to have such a role, and the fact that it will likely evolve into a full-time position makes it even better.

My duties include maintaining the music library, reaching out to and scouting new talent to bring on board, and conversing with major advertisers and managers about partnerships - Could this be more ideal for me!? Well, yes, it could be. It'd be awesome to receive a full salary and benefits, BUT I can't and won't complain. I'm getting my lunches paid for, all my travel is covered by the company, I get a weekly monetary stipend, and I get free entry to a lot of the exclusive music events in and around the city.

There are definitely issues with the company, and it is not as perfect as it sounds; however, I have faith that this is happening for a reason, and I am going to fulfill my duties with 200% of my ability. I'm already the CEO's "go-to" person, and he's entrusted me with a TON of secrets concerning his personal and business drama. I don't care. I'm taking this experience and running with it. At the very least, my foot is in the door at a very reputable music institution, and my boss will likely write me an amazing recommendation.

In addition to this good news, I've also been doing LOTS of public showcases and shoving my fears to the side. I've sung at open mics 3 times in the past two weeks, and just yesterday I opened up for a 3-act comedy set in NJ. The audience loved me, and I was extremely pleased with my sound and comfort on stage. I'll be singing again publicly either Sunday or Monday, so I'll continue giving you all updates.

All I can do is thank God for patience and trust that he is guiding me even when I feel like I'm lost in the dark.

Be well, and keep dreaming Read more...

SUMMER IS DONE!!!

Ah yes...Summer school has LET OUT!!!

What does that mean? Mad scramble for a real job. EEP! Holla atcha girl if you know ANYTHING in the NYC area =) Thanks for lookin out!

I'm a free agent!!! But bills are piling up. You know how it is. Will work to get out of the house.

Siigh but yea. Summer is done. I've more or less taught a whole year's curriculum in 6 weeks. 6 weeks. 33 days. So we didn't do a LOT of reinforcing of the information and I couldn't help every child individually but I think I covered a lot and they learned a lot considering the time constraint. I wonder how it is possible that teachers have 6 times as much time with these kids and most don't seem to be doing THAT much more than what I have with them!

AGHHHHHHH what's going ON?!

I'm no expert, obviously. But I've spoken to the licensed public school teachers that teach with me at the tutoring center and I've spoken to my boss who has seen a decade's worth of kids come and go at her company. The kids seem to start at lower and lower reading and math levels. The kids seem increasingly less able to do any critical thinking. Don't get me wrong. It's not like bright kids aren't still out there. They blow us away and blow the rest of the class out of the water. But they are so few and far in between.

It seems old school methods and curricula worked. Then for whatever reasons (I can take a stab at a few but I won't) the school system decides that we need to have one big ol' cookie cutter method that aims at personalizing education to each child. But in the end, children get lost in the shuffle because a teacher can only do so much for each individual child one at a time. It's a good theory. But like communism, just doesn't work so well in reality.

All this griping about the underachieving kids being lost in the shuffle, but what about the kids that are at the tops of the class? Does anyone really pay attention to them anymore? Take a look at this vid my best friend made at work:

Fun Fact Friday! - Waiting.... from Education Gadfly on Vimeo.

By the way, all the smarty pants play-doh kid did that put itself ahead of the class was FACE THE RIGHT WAY!!! LOL did anyone else notice the underachievers weren't facing forward? How true is that in real life? Very much mirrored in a real classroom. HAHAHA

Not to pat myself on the back, but I was one of those kids. I didn't always feel like I was being held back because my mom always pushed me to my limits with outside tutoring that taught way beyond the regular school curriculum. But there were many times in elementary and middle school where I felt the homework and classwork (at least for math) was SO mundane and frustratingly slow.

That was then. It seems it's worse now. What can we do to promote and provide top notch education for EVERYONE in the class?



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Chew on This: Rethinking Your Job Search

Do you practically LIVE online? Order food online? Find dates online? Even...Job Search Online?

STOP IT!!



Applying online can actually HURT your job search!!! According to this article, Search Engine Marketing only makes up 3% of hires!

What were the most effective methods of getting hired? Referrals and face-to-face interactions/networking!

"Online can be a great starting point, but that face-to-face communication has to take place. Someone has to know about you, and know your story. I like to say it's not who you know, but who knows you."

Employers particularly like hiring via their current employees; Ever wonder why no matter WHERE you're applying (McDonald's included) there is always a line asking if you know someone who is currently employed there? Now you know...

This bias in favor of personal referral is huge[...]About one-third makes a hire for every four referrals, another third makes a hire for every 10 referrals. So instead of competing with hundreds of candidates, most of those with a personal connection are competing with a handful!

Using technology in your job search isn't all bad though!

Anyone can marry online and offline resources to maximum effect, says Crispin. "With Facebook, LinkedIn, my college alumni association, and my professional associations like SHRM, which has a member directory, there's no company I can't get an employee referral to inside of an hour." Current employees win kudos for referring a new hire, so as long as a candidate is sane and presentable, they're usually willing to do it.

Use your internet skillz wisely! Set up a networking coffee meeting with that graduate two or three years older than you through myspace. Tweet with a current employee! Do what it takes but get that personal reference!

Good luck readers! Hope this helps!





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Give us Free! Give us FREE!...wait, no!

If I ever hear the word "freelance" again!

Thanks for telling me how great I am and offering me employment! 

...What? Oh, my bad. Really? I'm going to have to wait around for you to call me at random so that I can work and make money....hmm.  Well, am I guaranteed a certain amount of work? No?

Well, are there benefits? No?

Q: Okay, so basically I'm unemployed still?  

A: You're great! but this position will allow you the FREEDOM to explore additional opportunities!  You'll be working FREElance so you'll have a ton of freedom in addition to a great job.

Hold it - I'm still going to be broke past 2 or even 4 weeks from now with this "job," right?

Then wamp wamp wamp.  I'm happy I was given an offer, but SURELY you realize this is not exactly life-changing news...at all?

Company X, take a risk!  Invest in the new, inexperienced talent that is knocking at your door - tested and approved with FLYING COLORS.   Forget the darn recession and take on a new worker who could help drive a new system for your old institution.  We all know where the old has gotten you thus far.

...Well, thanks for letting me know that I'm FREElance.  Free to be financially unstable, medically in danger, and have my resume look like cow manure.  :-\

Be well,  

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ALL PRAISE TO SS - While I Issue an SOS

Let's begin this blog by praising the one consistent poster on this site,  at the moment -= Southern Substance. Being completely honest with you all, for the past two weeks I have been very preoccupied with applications, phone interviews, and just mental anxiety. As you all know, I really need a legitimate job that will allow me to grow professionally. Stagnation just isn't my thing.

Well, 2 weeks ago, I went to a career fair that really had some exciting prospects. Two of the companies I met with have since shown interest in my job applications, and I have been struggling trying to keep the slightest sense of internal serenity and sanity as I await the outcome. I want to explode you all! To go THIS LONG without anything official just bores away at the soul of a man (as it would with a woman, I'm sure...you see, I'm so anxious that I'm typing in politically correct stream of consciousness: a testament to my newfound ADD).

Well here's the deal, today, MONDAY, I potentially hear back from an exciting job prospect about my candidacy (not guaranteed to hear today, but the email said possibly). Today, MONDAY, I also have a 2nd round phone interview with a BIG consumer retail corporation for a position that PAYS but is something I'd NEVER EVER considered. Both opportunities are exciting and uncommon, and I WILL (I REPEAT WILL) JUMP at and attach myself to either one, just like an unloved stepchild would to a kind stranger.

You have no idea what thoughts are raging through my head. I can't do anything these days - clean, write songs, email, apply for new jobs, blog, go out - ANYTHING, because I'm paralyzed with anxiety. This is the closest I've come to hope being realized in a while, and I am beyond impatient to know the outcome - good or bad.

Wish me luck! I'll update you guys either way regarding the responses I hear. Hopefully your professional lives are not nearly as precarious as mine. AAH, I just want to scream and blurt out to the world how exciting these two opportunities are!

But alas, patience and discretion are virtues. No really, I just need a job haha. Hope you're holding up wherever you are and whatever you're going through.

Be well, Read more...

Pink Slip Avoidance Tips

As recent grads, we aren’t necessarily given the pick of the litter when it comes to jobs. A third of us are unemployed, half of us can’t stand the jobs we’re in, and the remaining 17% might actually be content with our current employment. No matter which category you fall under, chances are you want to know, perhaps need to know, how to stay afloat and employed amidst the pandemic layoffs.

Question: How do I avoid a pink slip when the recession comes to collect its quota from my employer?

Answer: Where there’s a will there’s a way! When it comes to business, forget all that you’ve learned about merit and work ethic. GONE. You’ve got to be savvy.

1. Relationships – Get into the “it” crowd. You know, the group of coworkers who actually are friends with the boss? Yes, the people who, although not in management, still know all the company gossip and everyone’s performance stats. Get to know them and be friendly. The closer you are to the power hub, the less likely you are to be axed. You’re anonymity will be lost, but the newfound fickle bond you have with management may become the difference between employed you and fired Sally.

2. B to B+ performance – The key to success in today’s economy is endurance. Even if you hate your job, you want to survive the layoffs just so you don’t have to face the impossible odds many of your peers are dealing with. At the same time, this doesn’t mean you need to perform like the cum laude, valedictorian student you once were/hoped to be. In fact, doing that is a sure fire way to get burned out or randomly self-compelled to quit. If you demonstrate a desperation to keep your job/willingness to do anything, your company will likely exploit you. Remember, there’s still lots of work to be done even if people are being fired. Resist the urge to go too far above and beyond. Nonetheless, work at a level just a few steps above mediocrity so that your value will be recognizable.

3. You & Your Company 4 Life – One of the initial ways employers shed weight during layoffs is disposing of the temporary, “no intention of advancing” employees who work just for the check. They have no long-term career plans with the company. If you find a way to communicate a desire (whether wholehearted or fabricated) to rise through the corporate employment ranks, your words may end up becoming your salvation.

Now these three points are only suggestions. There is no guarantee that if used they will prevent you from joining the throngs of Monster.com faithfuls. Consider them carefully before use. Read more...

Workplace Swagger

Friendly guy? Bitchy Girl?

One of the things that confronts us young people when we're about to start a first or new job is...how we should be perceived by our peers. Where do you place yourself in the office personality game? I personally chose to be the helpful and friendly girl and quickly made friends with most of my staff. And, as some of you may recall, I was in the tough position of almost being fired . So what went wrong? Part of my problem was that two of the secretaries I work for did not like me. When I started here…I noticed that those two were always off together and giving me and others dirty looks. None of the paralegals or other secretaries like them at all...the side of the building they work on is ALWAYS deserted...a whole side of a building lol! I decided not to be fake and pretend to be in love with them…but rather…say my good mornings and steer clear. I didn’t like one in particular- as evidenced here . Looking back, that may have been a mistake.

Is it smarter to stay under the radar at work? I don’t know for every case, but for my own, YES! The guy before me had no problems here. The reasons behind that could be a number of things; he was a very cute guy, dark hair blue eyes…the brooding type. The quiet one that you know is probably good in bed. The two secretaries? Two older women- one divorced and one unhappy in her marriage. Hm… they probably had fantasies all day about this guy. This guy stuck to himself- half the people I work for now don’t even know his name anymore! But he did his job quickly and efficiently so no one complained. A year later (yes…my one year mark has just passed!) I’m in charge and it is totally different. Let me start by clearing some things up for you. I’m not a lazy slob…I’ll just put that out there. The work has more than doubled since he left and I barely have time in a day to do anything. I’m often being called and asked to do things that aren’t in my job description and I never say no…He was the first in this position so half of the team was reluctant to use him- they didn’t know if they could trust someone else with their work. That’s alllll gone! I get asked to do ANY and EVERY thing now and I’ve got more attorneys and secretaries over me then he had. The first 5 months…I would do about 3 hours of work a day. That’s all there was. The rest of the time…I’d go and talk to people, excluding those two women of course, and get to know them and learn about them. Now…I often have to come in on weekends (I will be coming in on Saturday *tears*) to even just CATCH UP. I haven’t cleared a queue for a secretary since December…I can’t!

But my main problem was in establishing friendships with a certain sect of people. I like these women a lot- though we have nothing in common (they’re in their 30 and 40s with kids and marriages etc) but, the other two secretaries, don’t like them. So, without realizing it, I chose sides. That was the end there. It has been a struggle to stay above water and my ever increasing workload isn’t helping. Once I realized that I was doomed…there was no repairing that relationship. Every day I come in wondering if there’s going to be an e-mail telling me that HR wants to talk to me. I did the friendly thing- I know people’s children’s names and their dreams and all of that but I guess as a young professional…I should have spent more time asserting myself. Going to ask EVERYONE for additional work and forging…not friendships…but professional relationships with everyone. Despite what the tone of some of my posts exude…I am a friendly person. That has been my biggest downfall here. I dodged one round of firings but I know that if there is another one…I’m out. After my last close call…I have taken all of my personal stuff home so that I just have to grab my purse and go when I’m fired. Not IF I’m fired…when….

My advice…be friendly but professional with EVERYONE. I think that the friendly role is great but that it doesn’t bode as well for people taking you seriously. As a young person, I feel that people tend to respect that hard working go-getter no bullshit person more than the bubbly and happy one. I’m not saying be cold to people…smile and chit chat a bit…but then get right back on the subject; Anything I can do for you sir/ma'am?. You’ll win in the end….



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Backtracking Businesses & Gon' Postal Applicants

I have a great feeling about this week.  It SEEMS like the universe is finally responding to my more positive energy & outlook on my... situation.  Today I woke up to a legitimate personal reply to an application I'd sent out this past Friday.

I'd applied for a bunch of openings and was excited to read that a top PR firm wanted me to come in and interview for a position.  As I read the email, I tried to recall exactly what the position was so I did a backtrack Google search only to find that my excitement was about an UNPAID internship. "Okay," I thought, "It's a new experience for the resume and potentially a gateway position."  Two hours later, I get an email from the same PR firm saying "We apologize, but we've just found out the position has already been filled internally."

WAMP WAMP WAMP!  HR - get it together.

I shrugged this off because, after all, it was an UNPAID internship, and I would have lost a ton of money (that I don't have) traveling to and from the city.

After moving on and sending out a few more applications, I get an email from another potential employer.  This time it's from a music production company that is holding auditions for... "unknown."  They're apparently looking for contemporary singers that can dance, and since I do both, on Friday I'd directed them to my MySpace page for sound clips and pics.  Sure enough, they replied saying they'd like for me to come in and audition on this Wednesday, 7/15.  

Those who know me know that I buck up at most things involving music.  Even so, I was unclear about what I was actually auditioning for, so I sent them a follow-up email.  To my amazement they replied immediately, telling me the audition is for new singers in a high-end NYC event band.  AGAIN, another unconventional job opportunity, but I was still happy.  I love to audition, and the role would mean performance experience, exposure, and linkage to talented musicians.  The email said I would have to perform an uptempo song along with a ballad from a short list of selections - I will likely do "Sign Sealed Delivered" and "At Last."

Amidst my excitement and initial preparation for the audition (2 days away), I get an apologetic email from the music production company saying, "We're sorry.  The audition is actually on the 23rd."  These people better not be yanking my chain! So much for thinking things were happening quickly!

But here's my question - When am I going to get responses to the conventional employment applications that I sent out?  Or am I to expect the "recession status quo" on that front?  All I know is the employers/hiring officers for these alternative positions need to get their acts together before emailing applicants and scheduling interviews.  Times are tough and you never know.  One "accidental" email, like the ones I received, if sent to the wrong down-on-his-luck individual may send him over the edge.

We don't want people to start going postal.  Heck, I don't want to have to go postal! ...ha (jk?)

Be well, Read more...

Unemployment Advice from the Unemployed

Unemployment is BAD @ NOW! Period. 

My situation is my situation, and I'll deal with that on Mondays, but for every other young college graduate struggling to find a job, just know you are by no means alone.

So how do we cope in these economic times?  Employers are only hiring the most experienced & specialized or the applicants with the lowest wage expectations and greatest likelihood of staying in the position long term.   Does this mean the average college graduate with a B.A. is screwed?

Well let's see - You could take the dreamer route and use this "down time" as your chance to explore your interests and possible entrepreneurial exploits.  You could also choose to get involved with a non-profit or service organization and do good for the community... OH WAIT!

  

- You have college loans!  Maybe grad school loans!

- You pay your cell phone bill every month!

- You are paying for health insurance each month in case the thin veil of protection that is "youth" tears!

- You want to enjoy 20s (i.e. have a social life)!

OH and the "public good" organizations that you can "fall back on and work for"...yeah, they're application processes is just as demanding and fruitless as those for private sector positions.  Not to mention the thousands of peers all vying for the same low-paying, soul-fulfilling, wallet quenching job.

Hmmph.  I hate to sound pessimistic, so take my word for it - I'm not.  I'm just being a realist and presenting the Real World that we are all presently confronting... together.  These times are calling on ALL of us, even the ones who feel they've earned and deserve top-notch employment, to "man up" and be that persistent pest that you've always despised. You've got to hunt down that measly job like you're a rabid bear that just woke up from 3 months of hibernation (possibly a year in some of your cases), and ferociously hunt down that prey.  Even if you end up with just a few wild berries, food is food. A job is a job.  Experience is experience.

You don't want a gaping HOLE in your resume so occupy your time in some meaningful way.  Start your own business with friends, be PRO-ACTIVE with your goals, and put it ALL on the resume.

Lastly, we're all going to have to drop our pride and accept the fact that in this climate, it's about WHO YOU KNOW.  Yes, you've heard it a dozen times, so how about you wisen up, accept it as truth, and act on it.  Call those contacts that you barely know. Send them emails every other day.  USE those acquaintances that you actually can't stand.  After all, if they were in your shoes, they'd probably use you in a heartbeat to get some career advancement.

Should you go back to school?  Sure, if you actually WANT to!  Don't be a fool though.  Don't think that deferring reality with more education will make your life any better in the future, because YOUR TRUTH will reveal itself in the end.  You'll either have the additional degree, a good position, and a happy life, or still more debt, and THE SAME AMOUNT OF ANXIETY AND CONFUSION YOU HAVE NOW.

GET UP and DO SOMETHING. Clocks don't stop and time won't wait.

Be well,

p.s. I wrote this post for you but mostly so that I can read the wisdom I have internally and finally act on it outwardly.  Hopefully you will do the same.

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B.A. =/= Bad Ass Degree

Far from it. It seems rather useless right now in this market.

It seems weird that after a year out of school, I can still call myself a recent college graduate because, honestly, what have I done to give away that title for a different one? Well, unemployed comes to mind but that's definitely not as attractive. However, I'm starting to feel like those old...er ladies that wear clothes much too young for them. Like seriously, retire that wardrobe before you actually retire.

So there's a certified teacher working here at the tutoring center I work at. Now that school has let out, he's looking for a little extra income (instructors working for the the Board of Ed. get paid over the summer). He worked here last summer as an instructor. This year, he's a TA...under college students that have taken over his position as instructor. OUCH! He says he didn't want to teach this summer so that's why he's a TA. That MIGHT be true. Just might not be the whole face-losing truth.

The market is tough out there. Every market. Housing. Job. Stock. (Although, it's probably a good time to buy shares in order to reap the benefits of a post-recession upswing. This only works if you have the money to spare right away.) Meat. (Yes, I'm still on that tip.) Well, at least I have part-time employment. On top of that, I have good rapport with my check-signer. I didn't get a raise but I got more hours. I'll take what I can get.

Do I wish I was somewhere else? Of course! I wish I was lounging in the lap of luxury. But unfortunately, I haven't earned that yet nor is dumb luck on my side. How do I work for such a coveted position with just a B.A. and no training or experience in anything other than tutoring and selling insurance? These are side jobs. They shouldn't be my day job.

It is what it is. But how do I better myself and my wallet? A lot of my friends are going back to school. Expensive investment with no guaranteed immediate returns. The hope is that in the long run, it'll pay out better than just the initial college investment. However, it IS an expensive investment. Loans are great if you're approved for them. Loans are not so great if you're out of school and can't defer them. On top of that, you have no job that allows you to pay them off AND provide yourself with the basic survival necessities. So what's the solution? Work now to horde money for school! Wamp flaming wamp. How long would it take to horde enough money from the entry level job you might not even have now?

I chose to work first. I needed a break from school. Dartmouth was definitely a morale drain. Most things were super hard for me there. This is not to say that the material wasn't interesting. I just couldn't bring myself to practice good studying habits. I do want to go back thought. Soonish before I get too old to learn. I really need to find out what I have to do to get there.

I'm not very motivated to do much more than what I'm doing right now. That's an issue. I'm comfortable. I pay my bills. I can buy things. Loans are paid off (yay for being poor and yay for great financial aid!). I'm not at a high anxiety job. Maybe I'm not challenged enough. The kids stress me out from time to time but I can, for the most part, leave work at work. I think that's the best part of being out of school. No homework.

I'm not ready to go back to school yet. But,I want a different, better-paying job so I can have a little more buffer time before pursuing a doctorate and actually have the money for that degree. But what can I apply for? Those job search sites see, to only have openings for the positions I'm not qualified for. Do I waste their time sending in my lacking C.V. for a chance in hell? Do I look on craigslist for jobs that I'm overqualified for only to be turned away because my B.A. puts me over their payroll comfort limit? I'm just looking for a paycheck. Being a recent college graduate sucks. I don't want to be pushed into being a drone and work for The Man. While lots of more experienced people are looking for anything that will provide them with great non-monetary benefits because they have families to take care of, I'm young, unattached, semi-independent, and need money. I'm about to make a sign on a piece of cardboard and see who will hire me. It definitely feels like I'm just bumming around life right now.

Woe is me, the educated undefined blob.

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To Be or Not to Be

(Un)EMPLOYED!

Now...I've said it before- I am glad to currently be employed. Who knows where my family and I would be if I had not received this job. As my one year mark (July 15th) quickly approaches however, visions of the free life (sleeping in, etc) are creeping in and I am steadily preparing my resume for a different job- maybe something with different hours and a totally different set-up... who knows....

Pursuing dreams…that’s what I thought I was doing. Getting my foot in the legal door and getting my name out there so that when I applied to law school I’d be set- an easy “accepted”. It IS what I’m doing but I’m slowly starting to rethink and wonder to myself- is this what I want? 80 -90 hour work weeks. No time for family and friends. Is this my dream? Sure- the money is nice but what do I really want to do? What would make me wake up glad that I’m on my way to work rather than spending my weekend dreading Monday? I don’t know yet…

One good thing about employment at our age is that it never has to be permanent. A year here…a year there…no one’s going to judge your resume. The problem is…we just don’t have the time to dabble. You’re expected to know what you want to do essentially by 18 and at the latest 21 in order to be timely and efficient. After your college graduation…you either head to your career choice or continue schooling for that path. For the dabblers like myself…well…what can one say? I’m 24 and I have no idea what I want to do- no clear path. If I magically find something that I love…then…yay! My problem lies in working. Again…I appreciate the job. The problem is…I don’t have time to go out and discover what things I could love because of my current job! Who has time to take a class here or there or visit companies when you spend your days sleeping and/or working.

While writing this, an article came to my attention about people who tweet/blog/facebook about their jobs and get fired (oh God I hope no one from my job reads this blog!). Nothing is sacred anymore!

Happy Friday! Read more...

Job Update - My Excitement & Worries

Hey all,

I hope you had a great Memorial Day Weekend. As if blogging on this site isn't enough, my application to become an "Examiner," a subject-specific columnist for the Examiner.com, was accepted on Saturday! This means, I have a job!...wait...a freelance position where I earn money based on the number of readers who view my page. Hmmm....this is sounding less like a job and more like a side venture. Yep, I'm still calling myself unemployed... *sigh*

Even though I still don't have a steady salary through Examiner.com, the offer is exciting because it will allow me to gain a great deal of column writing experience and broaden my readership! My profile on Examiner.com will link back to TheRGC (here), so the additional exposure should be very good for this blog. I've been commissioned to write articles on the young adult experience and youth academic/program exploits in my local area. Of course, i can and WILL write more generally; I'm hopeful that I will find some success with this new position and receive some MUCH needed money SOON.

I'll let you guys know a bit more of the details about my "job" in next Monday's entry. The Examiner.com position will definitely entail a lot of writing, but fortunately I've rediscovered my appreciation for the art.

So to put EVERYTHING in perspective for YOU (and remind myself) on JUST HOW FLAKY my existence is right now...

1. Working on my music demo (singer/songwriter) - nearly done
2. Writing for TheRGC.blogspot.com - my pride and joy
3. Volunteering on 2 youth programming boards for a non-profit organization - Soul satisfying
4. Appointed and actively "working"(pro bono of course) on a government committee that oversees the state's Juvenile Justice system - mentally stimulating, soul satisfying
5. Living at home with the family still - Accustomed
6. Very quickly approaching broke...that savings account is feeling the pressure - BIG STRESSER

Yes, my life is almost thrilling at the moment, but where's the stability? I'm actually considering applying for another volunteer position tomorrow - helping some people with a political campaign. I'll also be attending two career fairs later this week - Wednesday and Thursday.

Oh goodness, it just hit me! My situation just hit me!
MAKE IT STOP! There's got to be a way for me to get rich off of my present existence. I know I'm developing a ton of skills and experience for my next real job. Additionally, I will have great stories to tell my kids and grandchildren. After all, my "20-something years" have been quite adventurous and tumultuous thus far.

On a serious note: I desperately need something mildly lucrative and stable to at least EMERGE this week. Please pray for me. Let me know your story, if you want me to send you some positive energy and/or prayer.

*Currently listening to Erykah Badu's "Otherside of the Game" and hearing this lyric repeat over and over: "Work ain't honest but it pays the bills." Maybe I'll start evaluating my illegal employment options, haha.

Stay Positive
Be well, Read more...

Feels Good

I haven't been 100% honest with you....



I know I always say I will…so here goes: I have been a great actress as of late…fooling everyone…even myself at times.

For the past…say…two months, I have been on the verge of getting fired from my current job. Sure…there was worry…which directly followed the fleeting moments of glory and a slight superiority complex seen HERE My clique (referenced in that post) has known about this for a long while obviously and has been on the warpath to save me. Round 1 was ours to take but…round 2…substantial blow.

So…if you’ve read that already…here’s the update (i.e. Round 2). The “chick” and an ally (we’ll be nice and not use a similar sounding word to describe them) weren’t too happy about being tattled on by the entire rest of the teams’ support staff and linked all of this drama back to me. They began complaining obsessively…directly to human resources instead of coming to me. If anything was missing or wasn’t printed…the finger was pointed at me. Eventually HR stepped in and I got called in for a meeting- what’s worse…I had no idea about 99% of their complaints, so this meeting was semi- out of the blue! I was FLOORED during this meeting and I was forced to sign a piece of paper saying that I was a) on probation b) if I were to quit/be fired, due to my disobedience (total bullshit- when the hell do I ever tell someone NO i won’t do a task…never!) I would not receive unemployment benefits c) if I even made a claim for unemployment, the firm would swiftly appeal. I had a little over a month to shape up or I was gone! I was screwed…

I went through many steps throughout this period…similar to the steps before an imminent death:

-Denial– This can’t be the end – How can they fire me for just two women’s thoughts of me when everyone else likes me!

-Anger- I began browsing yahoo jobs and monster during my lunch breaks and on my way to and from work on my cell phone. I would be long gone before they even had the chance to fire me andddd I would not give a two weeks notice. I started slacking on all of my work (for them) so that if I got fired…they would have a months’ worth of shit to do. I also started racking up 10-20 hours a week of overtime and saved all of my vacation days so that I’d get a ton of extra money to pad me during my firing. I also started taking all of my personal stuff home because I’d be damned if I had to do the walk of shame with the box.

-Bargaining– Well… maybe I can save myself if I just go and talk to them. Decided against this part as I could not watch them gloat and I refused to grovel. Instead I would simply be cordial to them and attentive to their damn needs and see where that got me.

-Depression– Don’t give a damn…

-Acceptance- started seeing positives out of either outcome. If I’m fired, I no longer have to wake up at the crack of dawn and I can just find a part-time job in a restaurant or something and start studying to take my LSAT again. If I keep the job, I can continue saving for Law School and hobknobbing with the lawyers here.

On Friday my phone rang and I knew what it was. I had already said goodbye to my friends here and wished them luck. I let them know that if I was fired…there would be no coming back to say goodbye- I was leaving right from the office. All of my personal items were at home except for my purse and jacket, both of which I carried with me upstairs to Human Resources. The walk was a long one….I started to feel myself getting nervous and possibly on the verge of tears but I told myself NO…you’re not going to give her the satisfaction. I strolled in…sat down…and waited.

“Day and Night” she said (I love that song by Kid Cudi by the way). “You have changed so much that we have decided to keep you” and blah blah. So I kept my job and my pride all at the same time. I am still, however, searching for a part-time position in a law firm as soon as July hits (my one-year mark). I still want to do that LSAT thing. We’ll see.

The weirdest thing is…that “Don’t give a damn” thing won’t fade. I was told to reduce my hours slightly (which was to be expected due to the massive amounts of overtime I’ve been logging) which means I get to come in later! I do my job better because now I’m not so worried about every minute detail being wrong and complained about. I don’t stress coming in to work or stress having to see their faces…I just don’t care. Did I win Round 3?

I almost got fired and it feels so good. I’m free.

Just one lesson learned- no matter what people say about equality...there is always a hierarchy. Learn it...live it...love it. Befriend the powerful then work your way down!

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Approaching the Boiling Point!

Okay, I'm officially frustrated and near my breaking point.

The PR firm that so badly wanted to hire me, just got back to me and said I can be on board as a commissioned salesman. What?!

The email essentially said that they really want to hire me, but the economy is too tough right now.  As consequence, they want to use me as a commissioned sales person... (I don't have formal sales experience).  I don't even think I know enough about their company to complete a sale.

This news comes on the heels of what I thought would SURELY get me the position:

1.  The interview with the company founder went perfectly

2.  I passed the PR written test with flying colors

and finally...

3.  Today, I went OUT OF MY WAY to hook the PR firm up with a new potential client.  The client company is a rising star in the beauty/health product industry and has a passion for community work, similar to the PR firm.   I talked extensively with the company owner about her line of products and community work, and then took another 45 minutes crafting an email proposal to the PR firm's CEO and founder about why they should take on this new client.

Well, the PR firm sure was happy to receive my email!  BUT instead of responding with, "You're hired," they basically said "Thanks so much!  This is great!  Can you find out some more details for us about where the client would like to go?  Consider yourself a commissioned sales rep for us, and if you bring in a few more partners, you'll have a job here."

Once again, I'm fed up with the flattery and the fear of commitment that these businesses are showing me.  Take a risk on a good thing, already!  You want fresh ideas?  You want new talent?  Well, you're going to have to take chances and invest.

Maybe I'm just meant to be a contracted PR/Sales/Multifunctional employee that makes his own path in this world.  If so, the coming months are really going to be a test of my will power and inner strength...and my parent's patience.

It seems that in this day and age, structure, security, and the traditional road are out the window.  

Expectations?  They're going to be hard to hold on to...Oh man, 

...Be well you guys

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Free-time = My Time

Fact:

When you leave your job, whether by choice or by force, you suddenly have a lot of free time.

Opinion:

You should use this newfound FREEDOM to do what you love and chase after what you desire (being practical of course).

I mentioned three blogs ago how about 3-4 weeks after quitting my job I found myself debating such things as whether to watch MTV or VH1 - what a choice, haha!  Well, I'm honest enough to admit that at that point I was being lazy, wasteful with my time, and stagnant.  Sure I needed time for myself, but what I quickly came to realize is that time watching TV in hopes of being mildly entertained wasn't actually taking time for myself; on the contrary it was me throwing time away.

Let's face it, life is about interaction, sharing our talents, learning, friendship, and broadening our horizons.  Where does lying in the bed for hours watching mindless shows fall in (clearly TV can be good on some levels.  Pinky and the Brain, Damages, and Heroes were/are great TV show)?  As a person who believes in destiny and purpose, I had to change, and while it's an ongoing process, I am making progress...

With that said check out the Hulu Super Bowl 2009 ad. It's fitting:

In 2008 I was completely and pleasantly surprised when I was officially appointed by my state governor to serve as a youth member of the state committee which distributes government funds and promotes programs for less-fortunate and delinquent youth.  This was an unanticipated honor, yet because of my last job and the stress/hours of work I rarely was able to attend the meetings.  As a recent graduate with bills and expenses, I'd already become consumed by the "rat race" and bought into the philosophy that making money was paramount. Nonetheless, I remember several occasions when I wanted nothing more than to attend a committee meeting. Inevitably, though, something major would happen at work preventing me from attending.

Having since quit, when I received notice of the February committee meeting I was excited about finally being available. It wasn't long though before I turned apprehensive, as my involvement had been so irregular prior to this.  Well, I bit the bullet and went to the meeting on this past Wednesday -  it was incredible to say the least.   Certainly, I had a great deal to catch up on including jargon and policy, but my "unfamiliarity" allowed me to bring a fresh and inquisitive perspective.  I dared to ask questions and offer uninformed but thoughtful opinions that ultimately sparked a reconsideration of how the committee would support and fund programs in the future.  The committee made progress and individual members thanked me for my ideas afterwards.  All of this came from daring to use my time to go after my interests and put aside fear.  I felt good...and that feeling is something you can ONLY get when an opportunity, your interest, and your effort align.  

Oftentimes fear of failure and even success can be the single reason why we don't achieve our full potential in life.   The bed, the couch, and the TV will always be there, but your time and talent are always ticking away.  

Unemployed?  Enjoy and use your time

Done with classes?  Enjoy and use your time

Vacation?  Enjoy and use your time

Free time doesn't equal time to kill...

Free time = Me time, whatever that may be for you

Be well

Seek and ye shall find.

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Impressive Rejects - the College Grad

Musecatto here!

Jintian, zenmeyang? (Chinese - How's it going today?)

So today I had an interview at one of the top PR firms in the NE.  I'd met the CEO of this firm 3 weeks before, and he hired me on the spot.  According to him, all I needed to do was come in and find out where I would fit/negotiate salary.  Was I excited?  You bet...and today was the big day!

Long story short I met with the company's founder for an hour today and we absolutely hit it off (the founder is the father of the CEO).  We had a TON in common, established a great rapport, he called me very impressive/completely impressive at least 4 times, and described me as artistic - the type of employee he finds ideal for PR.  BUT THEN, as he reads my resume he says "I think you may be too good for PR."... ... ... Noooooo.  Outwardly, I remain calm for interview purposes, but internally I'm steaming.  This is the second time I've received such a response.  The first happened in 2007 when I was applying for an international sales position.  Much to my surprise, the company president called me "overqualified" and said the job was actually beneath me.  And Now, today, my interviewer (who saw so much of himself in me) seemed completely enamored with my life experiences, clubs, and interests,  intimating that I'd be doing myself a disservice working at his company... 

What does it all mean?  I just want a job.  Why can't they just take me anyway? Of course this frustrates me because it's hard enough getting a job as a recent college graduate, especially in this recession.  Most jobs I'm interested in require more experience than I can offer on paper, and now the few good companies that are getting back to me are telling me I'm meant to do something more. What type of predicament is this...

To be fair, I'm still in the running for the PR position that I interviewed for today.  Still, the company founder overtly stated that I should just brand and market myself because I have the most to offer as my own individual.  This same man is actually the one who instructed me to start blogging about my life (which I now am - I listen to the advice of wise and inspiring people) and offered to be my PR in the future.  

As disappointing/flattering/confusing as these experiences  have been, maybe there's some wisdom we can garner from this series of complimentary rejection.  

Maybe this curious experience vacuum is swallowing more college graduates than we think.  If so, is that a bad thing?  Are business professionals depriving younger talent of experiences need for true growth or are they sincerely encouraging us to courageously charter our own courses...to success, happiness, and fulfillment?

Seek and ye shall find. I'm thinking...

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Graduate Depression...It's the New Black

Prozac Prescription Instructions:  Take Prozac only after receiving your BA from an accredited university.   If enrolled in Masters or PhD courses, please consult your physician prior to use, as additional credits and loans may increase likelihood of drug ineffectiveness and intensify self-loathing upon graduation/introduction into the "real world."

Nimen Hao (Hello All - In Chinese),

Musecatto here...whether that be fortunately or unfortunately.  

2 months ago, I couldn't have even dreamed of being home at this foolishly early hour of night.   Indeed, when I had a job, this might as well have been my lunchtime.  Thank goodness for unemployment, right? Well...

You see, I quit my job at the very end of November, toting my pride, skills, dignity, and fueled by my relentless optimism that everything would always work out for me.  Trust me, I'm not saying I'm a privileged person, but let's just say I've always had access to a great educacion (Español, see!) and an immensely supportive network of friends and family to assist me in life.  Consequently, I could have cared less about this "recession" and the "massive layoffs."  All I knew was that after over a year at the company, I was still extremely unhappy, unfulfilled, and frustrated in my old job (my first job out of college); I had to leave and move on to the BIGGER and BETTER that would surely come knocking at my door and offer me the opportunity of the lifetime.  So I left...

Week 1 passes - My "recovery week," as I coined it.  Detox from the insanity of Job #1.

Week 2 passes - Submit 2 Job Applications (lazy, I know, but I'm still "recovering")

Week 3 passes - Seized by a slight fit of panic, I submit about 15 Applications and register for 4 different job posting sites.  My enduring spirit of hope is revived.  Certainly someone will get back to me!! My Bigger an Better..

Week 4 passes - ONSET OF DEPRESSION, Doubt.  "Hmm, what's on MTV?  Better yet, VH1! Why???"

Week 5 passes - Meet up with fellow Ex-Coworkers (We'd all quit the same company at some point.  I was the last).   All of the said "Ex-Coworkers" were great at the job and fortunately we managed to take away a solid group of friends.  At the monthly dinner/reunion with the Ex-Coworkers, I discover that they ALL have found new jobs...I mean ALL OF THEM.  Sure, they'd quit before me but still.

Week 6...WHY - The Musecatto eduring spirit of hope is broken.  The only companies getting back to me were those pestering marketing/PR/sales/exploit the young & restless recent college grad firms.  You know the ones I'm talking about...

Just when I thought all hope was lost, my bright silver lining appeared! ("Musecatto, that lining looks dusty grey to me," says my friend, Hindsight..."Quiet," I reply).  Today would be the day it all changed for this college graduate...

And so I got up, showered, put on my suit, and off I went...

To where? For what? Seek and ye shall find

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