Even though you’re doing drugs, you still need the proper etiquette.

GUEST COLUMN:
Okay, so the guy two whole spots to the right of you just sparked the blunt. I know you’re excited and itching to take a hit, but you have to just chill out. For those of you who are casual smokers, you need to know a few essential and simple rules that the lifted follow to heart. I know a lot of you know how to smoke- but I just want to stress the unspoken code among the real tree lovers. If you follow these guidelines, you’ll always be welcomed for another one with the more elevated bunch:

1- The roller gets to spark up the piece. Don’t ever try to touch that from his hand. That’s grounds for laying someone out. He can talk as long as he wants (some do) but don’t do anything unless you’re really chill with the sparker. It’s his artwork and you smoking it, you have to respect it.
2- Once the blunt is sparked no leavers or new-comers. If broken, it must be agreed upon or will be taken as a sign of rudeness and possibly disrespect.
3- Puff Puff Pass. It’s simple. Be courteous, take two hits. Don’t be selfish. It’s a communal activity. I’m not saying that you can’t smoke – just take big ass hits.
4- Always ash before you give it to another, no matter how much ash is on it. If forgotten, it’s a very asshole-like.
5- Don’t break the rotation. Everything’s going in a circle, don’t mess up the momentum.
6- You can’t be smoking anything else, unless specified by the group. That means no cigarettes until after the blunt is killed. I know you want to look cool because you’re blasted out of your mind, but be patient-finish the piece.
7- Don’t talk or do anything but smoke when you have it between your hands. You’re smoking to get lit. Not to tell stories. Save the fairytales for bedtime.
8- Probably the most important and the most obvious, NO drooling/biting/nigger lipping (not to be offensive, but its just the correct terminology). I can’t stress how much we can’t stand that. It not only reinforces the idea that you are a novice, but that you can’t chill. Please don’t bite down or drool all over the piece. It’s an artwork, a genius. It’s a lifestyle and culture. Its what separates people who think like Obama from people who think like McCain. It differentiates swimmers from people who shatter world records like Michael Phelps (aside from the fact that he has extraordinary talent)
9- Asking before you kill the piece. That’s just common sense.
10- And finally, I know it’s a lot to handle, but just try to relax, man, and just have fun. Tell stories after you pass that piece.

Smoke well. Be kind to your fellow smokers.
-Dandb

Dandb, is currently an undergraduate student who is a heavy believer of the ganja. He believes that current efforts in legalizing the substance has given people like him hope that one day people will see how silly this law issue was. (Remember prohibition efforts)

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OOOOOO Shiet...

I'm a good girl!

(Wow...Look at the dilated pupils and psychodelic flowers...Power PUFF Girls!!!)

I didn't even start drinking until AFTER high school. Actually, I didn't even start drinking until well into freshman...fall. Hahaha

Underaged drinking? It's to be expected of college kids. If not expected then at the very least, not surprising.

Took a puff or two of the gange maybe sophomore year. Probably two. Puffpuffpass. Don't remember when exactly. Just remember I got hungry and the folks with me got into a heated argument that I didn't care about.

Fast forward to senior year spring. MMMMMMM Brownies!!! Tastes like what ginger brownies would taste like. Yum! Had a bunch that I rationed over two days. Not much effect. Seems like a waste of money. Then again, Southern Substance decided to eat ALL of the brownies and look what happened to her. SMH

Skip ahead to later that summer. I get invited to a house party thrown by a co-worker who had JUST graduated high school. WAIT WHAT?! SMH again because these babies are partying harder than my college co-ed self. But I get high off my ass and proceeded to fall the F asleep on the couch. I woke up to the guys watching some soft-core porn and I made my BFF switch sides on the loveseat we were on because I was convinced I would throw up if I didn't roll over immediately. In my defense, I didn't eat all day and drank a LOT of the Henny before the hot boxing. I was done. I walked back to my BFF's house. Good thing she's a pro, otherwise I'm not sure where we would have ended up. Hahahaha! In the middle of all that, I texted a friend telling him how awesome everything was. LOL!!! He was trying to figure out where I was. Kinda funny the next day when I read the texts.

That's it. Would I try other things? If they didn't F up lives then I TOTALLY WOULD.

O yes. Overdo some diet pills/drinks and it's pretty close to a coke high...so I hear. O=)

Legalize the happy grass. Are the downsides really all that different from the detriments of alcohol? None that I know of. If anything, it'll stimulate the economy with the increased snackage. Hahaha =)

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Conscientious objector

I have never used any drugs of any kind. I initially had no moral objection to it. I just didn't have a supplier that I absolutely trusted not to get nabbed and sell me down the river. At some point though, that blossomed into a superiority complex since I was able to harangue others with the fact that they lack my self-control. Not to mention, I'm the smartest person I know. I don't use illicit street drugs. Coincidence or causation? So now I'm the guy that shows up to a party and demurely declines a hit.

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Drugs? Forgive Me for I have Faltered

Southern Substance essentially raised the question, "Who hasn't dabbled in drugs?"  You know, at least tried them once in college?

I proudly yet humbly confess... NOPE, Never. I don't know what it is but either my parents, my religion, or my innate sense of right/wrong/self-preservation really gave me a resolute mind.  I'm proud of that, but I won't spend this entire entry on a high & holy trip, as that's not my style.  Instead, I'm going to mention the one instance, less than a year ago, where my resolve against drugs showed very REAL signs of crashing down.  

Let's make a long story short and just say, I was still working at very demanding, time consuming, fast-paced, Company X.  Having almost worked there for a year, I'd become used to surviving off of frequent stress induced adrenaline rushes. My life at this point was certainly not what I'd planned for, but I was acclimated.  Mentally, I know I wasn't healthy.  Physically, I was skinnier than ever and my mom started saying my eyes were sinking in.  Regardless, I was still dedicated to the job I despised, working 12 - 15 hour days pretty often and pulling occasional all-nighters at the office, just so I could review/complete my projects with quality and on-time.  

After a year of this lifestyle, I was no longer myself.  My sense of humor had darkened, I seldom saw my family, and the slightest thing could upset me and send me over the boiling point.  Fortunately for me, I'm naturally a pretty jolly, good spirits guy, so job and life struggles didn't propel me to the goth/suicide extreme but rather simply transformed me into a desperately impulsive, joy-hunting guy.

Being miserable, I sought to find pleasure in any moments and places I could, and on one particular Friday I decided to spend the night at a friend's city apartment.  This friend was a notorious - let's call it like it is - Weed Head.  He wasn't an addict by any means, but if ever offered weed or any other drug for that matter, besides cocaine or heroin, he'd probably accept.  Within an hour of arriving at this friend's place, several guests and roommates showed up and began nurturing each others' craving for a high (that's how drug use happens in groups..."A: If only I was high.  Hey, do you want to get high with me?  B: I don't know, maybe. Besides we don't have any...? A: ...yeah, I do.  It'd be so much fun. You know you want to!  B: You're right haha, let's do it...I hate you, haha").

Well sure enough, in walks the drug supplier with all types of treats including a powerful NEW drug we'll call "SLV."  Everyone else seemed instantly excited and ready to try this new exotic product.   Of course they tried persuading me to join the festivities, making statements like, "oh, it's not illegal.  It's safe.  It's scientifically proven to be healthy.  The high only last 10 minutes."   Whatever! Their B.S. aside, my life was currently in the pits.  Combine that with my inherent curiosity for new things and newly developed impulsivity and you get a weakened person.  I remember thinking to myself "What's the harm?  Life is so boring and mundane these days.  Join the adventure.  I need something new.  Why not just try it?  No one else will know."  Had my friends not been so anxious to get high themselves and had they just pushed me a little more, I might have caved under the pressure.  I guess now I'll never know.  In that situation, reason, worry, and conviction were the things that managed to keep me far enough at bay.  

I made the right choice too, because I watched two of my friends have very "bad trips" in which they saw the world and themselves literally "peel away" and really thought that they no longer existed and no one remembered them. Can you even imagine that?

I quit my job less than 2 months after this experience.  Watching my mental strength falter was yet another exposé on how unhealthy my life had become.  Rather than sink further, I let this experience provide additional motivation to drastically change my life situation.  

Now, I'm pretty much back to normal.  Unemployed, yes, but drugs are as unappealing as ever. I'd like to say I will never do drugs, but honestly, you never know.  I'm strong, but I'll always be curious.  Still, I'm naturally prudent and plenty of things pique my interest more than drugs.  So here's to hope...

Be well,

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Southern Substance...Abuse?

Just Kidding... I'm an angel... :)

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I have dabbled however....who hasn't?

College is a wonderful place where you can discover yourself and try new things...such as..... drugs. I guess it's kind of like a rebellion thing; try something you know your parents won't approve of once, get it out of your system, and, hopefully, move on to lead a successful, drug-free life. :). I don't count alcohol in my definition of "drugs" btw...

Weed was always a "low-impact" drug for me. I have known people who have smoked it all of my life and each of them lead relatively normal lives around it. I never developed a fear of it and at times, I caught myself forgetting that it was even a drug. So when the opportunity came for me to try it in Rome during my Study Abroad program...I did so nonchalantly. Now...I've had a puff here or there...but smoking is really not for me...instead...we all decided to bake some hash into brownies and then eat them before going out. Needless to say...it was an interesting night. Mixing massive amounts of alcohol and trying weed for the first time (technically) was probably not a good idea...but the night ended without many problems.

I tried it again my Senior year of college shortly before graduation (big risk since I might have had job interviews...I didn't though...) and again mixed it with large amounts of liquor. This time...adverse reaction. I'm not sure if there was more weed this time or I had drank more liquor or what...but that was the lassssssst time I will do that again lol. I spent the night standing in the middle of a dance floor at some sketchy party unable to move because I thought the world was going to explode if I did. I was panicking because I wanted to sit down but the seats were sooo far away (probably like 10 feet) and I could not reach them. Whenever I took a step forward...I had to gather myself, which took at least what felt like five minutes, and prepare myself for the next one. Now, in all honesty, me reaching the seats probably only took a few seconds, but in my haziness, it felt like an eternity. I then spent the rest of the night laying on some benches trying not to puke my guts out. Not a fun night!

Would I try weed again? Probably. I would have to make some adjustments though...no LIQUOR this time as I apparently can not handle both. Would I branch out and try OTHER drugs? Hell no. Still afraid of needles, still don't want to smoke or snort. That pretty much leaves like shrooms, acid, LSD (is this the same thing as acid??), and X- none of which I want. Don't want to have random trips for the next 10 years- so no acid (or LSD I think). Shrooms just sound gross...moving on. X would be tempting except for the fact that it apparently turns you into a horny animal that will hump anything that has or once had a pulse. Also...not too keen on slathering myself in Vick's vapor rub- not my scent of choice.




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I grew up!

A few months ago, I talked to a friend that I hadn't spoken to in months. Actually, we hadn't really spoken much in over a year. We spent some time talking about our professional lives, and then at some point he asked me how the ladies were treating me. And when I mentioned that my girlfriend and I were going strong, he seem shocked at the thought that I was in an ongoing long term relationship. That was one of those little moments in life where you can look at yourself and say "I guess I really have matured a little bit".



I spent most of high school objecting to marriage on philosophical grounds. This isn't unique. Every teenager reaches a point where he/she decides that you can't write a contract for love. Said teenager inevitably feels that this revelation is much deeper and more profound than it actually is and feels much more self-congratulatory than is really merited. My teenage self was very fond of what turns out to be startlingly bad poetry. I will share a piece of it with you.

Holiest union? Souls entwined?
last refuge of the lonely? blind leading the blind?
a practice that survived beyond its time
beware those treacherous vows that bind
strangers that might otherwise stray
for true lovers need no contract to stay
together to keep the emptiness away

8 years and a vastly expanded intellect haven given me the revelation that "the emptiness at bay" would have been infinitely more badass. Be that as it may, my professed stance on relationships and my total inability to talk to girls landed me tons of street cred with my fellow pseudo-intellectuals since I was able to say "I don't believe in girlfriends and, lo and behold, I've never had one. How's that for staying true to oneself?"

Fast forward to college. New and startling information comes to the fore regarding female anatomy. However, my viewpoint on dating and relationships was essentially unchanged. In fact, I'd say that at one point I found myself more jaded than ever. I was emphatic about never being in a relationship and definitely never a long distance relationship. Predictably, my first serious relationship began shortly after and was a long distance relationship. While it's hard to quantify emotional growth, I feel that I can say with certainty that I became much more mature as a result of that first relationship. Way, way, way more mature. As in, the only logical path was a conversion to Christianity, more mature. It seems silly, but yea, I eventually matured enough that one day I was leafing through my journal thinking "In this life or the next, there's going to be a price to pay for some of this stuff". Even then though, I was still pretty anti-marriage. Relationships made sense but an institution and contract for love didn't.

So I guess that it can't have been until after college that I matured enough to understand the concept behind marriage. It's actually pretty plainly stated in the basic vows most people use. They're vowing that, even after the lust that made marriage seem like such a cherry idea has faded, they'll stay together and have a life together. Not the stuff of Romeo and Juliet, but not too shabby either.
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I call Bullshit

Bit of a conundrum here… need to write my recommendations for Law School.
Now…I know what you’re thinking. What do you mean…write YOUR recommendations? Let’s just say I’m very slick…

I knew within the first week which associates/partners I wanted to write my recommendations based on their interactions with me. I hate to say it…but I used my gender and race cards to get what I wanted. I usually hate relying on these things to make it through and hope to let my merit alone to take me far…but…in this world…it’s not reasonable to rely on just your skills anymore. You need a network…and if my network has to be initially based on frivolous or base things to get my foot in the door…so be it. Eventually people will respect me for my abilities…again…foot in the door.

So yea…using those cards to pique the interest in me from some of the associates in this firm, I was quickly able to decide who I wanted to participate in the writing of my recommendation. I knew I was going to actually write it- there was no question about that- just needed a good signature on the bottom. Luckily one of the associates and I have a very cool relationship; we always joke around with each other and he’s definitely a mentor to me. He’s given me some great advice and a lot to think about in terms of whether or not this is the career for me. He’s also constantly asking me to do things for him that aren’t technically in my job description. I always joke and say I’m going to place those in my recommendationll (I will….). The other guy is a Partner (woot!) and I’m pretty sure he would also give me a recommendation. He’s a little more strict on placing his signature on things that he himself didn’t write…so he may actually want to do it. I’m just going to wait until he’s suuuuper busy and then do my ask and offer situation i.e. "Hey...can you write me a recommendation?...I know you're really busy and I hate to ask....Hey! I could write a very rough draft and maybe you can edit it to your liking..." We’ll see how that goes. Worked on the Associate...

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As for the actual recommendation…haven’t written a damn thing. What can I say about myself!? How can I cram my myriad qualities (lolol) into a one-page deal? One…I don’t want it to sound like I wrote it myself… I guess I kind of have a very distinctive (poetic, if I do say so myself) writing style which would be obvious if my recommendation and essays were compared. So I have a few weeks to learn to write like a totally different person- a busy lawyer with a lot on their plate- while still saying so many great things about myself. Two…I don’t want to blow myself up too much in the letter and make it sound like we are sleeping together or something like that. I’m thinking there’s a limit to how many good things I should say about myself… maybe hit the big 4 (organized, good time management, excellent speaking/writing ability, hard-working/driven) and then touch on some of the more personalized stuff for this job and the things outside of my own work that I do. Also, if filler is needed, maybe hit on some of the “sacrifices” I make: coming in on weekends, coming in 2 hours before everyone else and leaving after them, available to work for other teams if necessary, etc. Sound good ya think?

My Outline is below! Give me advice ! (Its ugly because this stupid blog wont let you space things properly! sorry!)

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I. Intro-
a. Recommender info: Name, Job Title, Name of firm. Where they went to law school (if applying to same school)
b. Brief description of applicant’s job and how long you have known her and how closely you have worked with her.
i. Job title and what it entails
ii. Team size (compare to other teams who have more people in this position and less associates/partners)
II. Qualities/Skills that make her excellent candidate for law school (about one sentence each…)
a. Organizational-
b. Time management- balancing many projects with general ease but willing to put the necessary time in
c. Writing/Speaking ability
d. Hard-Working/Driven/Passionate etc
e. Anything else?
III. Personal experience with this candidate
a. Personable, Trust-worthy – I know if I give her a task it will be done quickly and efficiently and will be exactly what I’m looking for. Often just give her a case and say “get it done” without further instructions and it is done to my taste (able to guess and gauge what the finished product needs to be with little instruction).
i. Possible example (doubt there will be room- but if so…filler)
b. Positive attitude
c. Eagerness to learn and ask questions (does this detract from the above “get it done without further instructions?”
d. Other-
i. In addition to all that she does for our team, she is also willing to help other teams in need and take others’ workloads if they need the help. She has acted as a back-up secretary for me- proofing letters, and [insert other secretarial thing]- and is always willing to stay late and come in on weekends to make my life easier (expound on this).
IV. Statement to the effect of “Yes please take this B*#&* You will like her- I promise".

:D


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REEEEEMIX!!!!

People who know me know that I love remixes.

I'm sure a lot of you have seen people that do piano remakes of pop songs and things like that. Yesterday, I found someone that does them on the VIOLIN!!!

Amazing. His name is Daniel Davis. He's about 20 years old and is VERY talented and entertaining. Check him out on his youtube channel. From there, you can find him through myspace, twitter, facebook, etc. Definitely check out his myspace and enjoy the music.

This is Daniel D at an Obama Rally for Change event in January earlier this year.


Check him out doing songs that are currently on my radar/iPod. LOVIN' these songs:


Birthday Sex- Jeremiah (altho I ADORE Red Cafe's remix):


Kiss Me Thru the Phone- Soulja Boy Tell'em (Don't laugh...Just lovin' Sammie on this):


Blame It- Jamie Foxx:


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Raised in the 90s! the Best Era!

We 90s kids had the best of everything: We saw and explored the world before the computer and internet revolution. We knew how to exist with other children and actually interacted with the outdoors. Remember the intense battles over Nintendo and Sega Genesis, Gameboy and GameGear?

I mentioned in my Highlight yesterday that I LOVE MAD TV.  This was the show that had me sneaking out of bed on Saturday nights (at 11pm), disobeying my parents, and watching another hour of comedy.  I'd have Sunday School/Church in the morning, but once I discovered this sketch comedy classic, I couldn't resist it.  Here is a hilarious clip from a few years ago that makes me laugh...and laugh... and laugh!  Enjoy



I've always found MAD TV funnier than SNL, but the majority of people always seemed to back SNL...I never understood it. I tried repeatedly to enjoy SNL skits but they fell/fall short (in execution) so often. What do you think? MAD TV or SNL?

No matter, MAD TV was cancelled last year after 14 seasons I think. One more good thing from our childhood, the 90s, gone.

Back in the 90s we even had casette tapes and walkmen.  We were the kids who watched music evolve from tapes, to CDs, to MP3 digital files. We've seen so many things changed before our eyes, not to mention the music was 10 times better and MORE DIVERSE during that decade. These days everything is just mediocre and sounds the same.

Remember when we were kids how movies would do spoofs about the distant future in which people could video conference call and see who they were talking to on a screen. Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but that has happened, and chances are you do it pretty consistently. Isn't that amazing. The only sucky part is that the world is now much smaller than it once was...and I'm still waiting on the retail flying car.

Other things we 90s kids experienced:

Have you noticed that we are no longer asked "smoking or non-smoking" when visiting a restaurant? That's because the choice is gone...health caught up with our social policy.

The switch from VCRs and VHS to DVDs...I liked rewinded tapes and having to wait 2 years to see a movie on my home TV.
TGIF - Family Matters, Boy Meets World, Step By Step, Mr. Cooper, Dinosaurs, Full House...
Martin/Living Single - Minority Children will know these show at the very least haha.
Disney Afternoons - Aladdin, Animaniacs, Darkwing Duck
REAL Saturday Morning Cartoons!! Nowadays, all they have are these cheesy "real" shows about kids in school and dumb cartoons
A Gazillion Talk Shows - Jenny Jones, Ricky Lake, Sally, Oprah, Montell Williams, etc. We would only see these on half days and vacations, haha

And remember that "funny" idea of TV censorship we had growing up (sarcasm)...well that's out the window.

Oh, I just recalled the thousands of toothbrush commercials (REACH) that used to air, showing the latest invention and how it could clean and get to the "hard to reach" places the best. The toothbrushes were always plain looking (by today's standards), but then again modern toothbrushes might as well be cars or stereos...they do so much. Oh, and the only tooth whitening we had back then came from the dentist.

Man oh man! Did I miss any of the greatness that was the 90s?!? and MAD TV or SNL? Comment and let me know.

CUT-IT-OUT...

Be Well,
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*Highlights* - Simulated Comic Product

GUY INCOG says:

(click to enlarge)

SCP is simply a fantastic little gem. Very intellectual and never approaching the same subject or punchline twice. SCP fights against being a typical predictable webcomic and often the pages of comments are filled with alternative interpretations of the meaning and intentions behind a comic. Love, morality, and the nature of reality are all explored.

Simply wonderful.

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*Highlights* - Looks are...Deceiving

SOUTHERN SUBSTANCE says:

See more funny videos and Entertainment Videos at Today's Big Thing.

There's no way people haven't heard of Simon Cowell and his many talent shows by now. This guy is a marketing genius...he is also very well known for his HARSH criticisms of people and his unrelenting ways of telling people they suck. He loves to make fun of people who he doesn't deem as beautiful or as having the "right" look. Well...every now and then...Simon finds someone who blows his mind and shuts him up.

In walks Susan Boyle.... 48 year old, unemployed, plain looking woman who has never had a boyfriend or been kissed in her life. The voice speaks for itself...and watch Simon... CLASSIC case of...not judging a book by its cover....


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*Highlights* - Zombie U...Is it for YOU?

GOTHAM DAYS says:

LOL...Just something I happened upon yesterday as I was falling asleep at work.

It's kinda funny. Not REALLY but just in the way awkwardly succinct attempts at off-hand humor is funny. Hahaha

Enjoy!



How much it brightened up my exceedingly boring few hours at work:

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*Highlights* - LMAO, I love MAD TV

MUSECATTO says:

I always have and always will love MAD TV. I admit that toward the end of its run, the cast wasn't as captivating as the Deborah Wilson, Nicole Sullivan, Aries Spears, Alex Borstein, Mo Collins,  Phil Lamarr, Will Sasso, Michael McDonald days...but they had their moments.  See this clip! Every time I watch it, it takes me to a very happy place!

Short and sweet.  THIS CLIP IS FUNNY. It deserves nothing less than 5 caps.  DONE.  I LOVE MAD TV.

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