Pink Slip Avoidance Tips

As recent grads, we aren’t necessarily given the pick of the litter when it comes to jobs. A third of us are unemployed, half of us can’t stand the jobs we’re in, and the remaining 17% might actually be content with our current employment. No matter which category you fall under, chances are you want to know, perhaps need to know, how to stay afloat and employed amidst the pandemic layoffs.

Question: How do I avoid a pink slip when the recession comes to collect its quota from my employer?

Answer: Where there’s a will there’s a way! When it comes to business, forget all that you’ve learned about merit and work ethic. GONE. You’ve got to be savvy.

1. Relationships – Get into the “it” crowd. You know, the group of coworkers who actually are friends with the boss? Yes, the people who, although not in management, still know all the company gossip and everyone’s performance stats. Get to know them and be friendly. The closer you are to the power hub, the less likely you are to be axed. You’re anonymity will be lost, but the newfound fickle bond you have with management may become the difference between employed you and fired Sally.

2. B to B+ performance – The key to success in today’s economy is endurance. Even if you hate your job, you want to survive the layoffs just so you don’t have to face the impossible odds many of your peers are dealing with. At the same time, this doesn’t mean you need to perform like the cum laude, valedictorian student you once were/hoped to be. In fact, doing that is a sure fire way to get burned out or randomly self-compelled to quit. If you demonstrate a desperation to keep your job/willingness to do anything, your company will likely exploit you. Remember, there’s still lots of work to be done even if people are being fired. Resist the urge to go too far above and beyond. Nonetheless, work at a level just a few steps above mediocrity so that your value will be recognizable.

3. You & Your Company 4 Life – One of the initial ways employers shed weight during layoffs is disposing of the temporary, “no intention of advancing” employees who work just for the check. They have no long-term career plans with the company. If you find a way to communicate a desire (whether wholehearted or fabricated) to rise through the corporate employment ranks, your words may end up becoming your salvation.

Now these three points are only suggestions. There is no guarantee that if used they will prevent you from joining the throngs of Monster.com faithfuls. Consider them carefully before use. Read more...

Workplace Swagger

Friendly guy? Bitchy Girl?

One of the things that confronts us young people when we're about to start a first or new job is...how we should be perceived by our peers. Where do you place yourself in the office personality game? I personally chose to be the helpful and friendly girl and quickly made friends with most of my staff. And, as some of you may recall, I was in the tough position of almost being fired . So what went wrong? Part of my problem was that two of the secretaries I work for did not like me. When I started here…I noticed that those two were always off together and giving me and others dirty looks. None of the paralegals or other secretaries like them at all...the side of the building they work on is ALWAYS deserted...a whole side of a building lol! I decided not to be fake and pretend to be in love with them…but rather…say my good mornings and steer clear. I didn’t like one in particular- as evidenced here . Looking back, that may have been a mistake.

Is it smarter to stay under the radar at work? I don’t know for every case, but for my own, YES! The guy before me had no problems here. The reasons behind that could be a number of things; he was a very cute guy, dark hair blue eyes…the brooding type. The quiet one that you know is probably good in bed. The two secretaries? Two older women- one divorced and one unhappy in her marriage. Hm… they probably had fantasies all day about this guy. This guy stuck to himself- half the people I work for now don’t even know his name anymore! But he did his job quickly and efficiently so no one complained. A year later (yes…my one year mark has just passed!) I’m in charge and it is totally different. Let me start by clearing some things up for you. I’m not a lazy slob…I’ll just put that out there. The work has more than doubled since he left and I barely have time in a day to do anything. I’m often being called and asked to do things that aren’t in my job description and I never say no…He was the first in this position so half of the team was reluctant to use him- they didn’t know if they could trust someone else with their work. That’s alllll gone! I get asked to do ANY and EVERY thing now and I’ve got more attorneys and secretaries over me then he had. The first 5 months…I would do about 3 hours of work a day. That’s all there was. The rest of the time…I’d go and talk to people, excluding those two women of course, and get to know them and learn about them. Now…I often have to come in on weekends (I will be coming in on Saturday *tears*) to even just CATCH UP. I haven’t cleared a queue for a secretary since December…I can’t!

But my main problem was in establishing friendships with a certain sect of people. I like these women a lot- though we have nothing in common (they’re in their 30 and 40s with kids and marriages etc) but, the other two secretaries, don’t like them. So, without realizing it, I chose sides. That was the end there. It has been a struggle to stay above water and my ever increasing workload isn’t helping. Once I realized that I was doomed…there was no repairing that relationship. Every day I come in wondering if there’s going to be an e-mail telling me that HR wants to talk to me. I did the friendly thing- I know people’s children’s names and their dreams and all of that but I guess as a young professional…I should have spent more time asserting myself. Going to ask EVERYONE for additional work and forging…not friendships…but professional relationships with everyone. Despite what the tone of some of my posts exude…I am a friendly person. That has been my biggest downfall here. I dodged one round of firings but I know that if there is another one…I’m out. After my last close call…I have taken all of my personal stuff home so that I just have to grab my purse and go when I’m fired. Not IF I’m fired…when….

My advice…be friendly but professional with EVERYONE. I think that the friendly role is great but that it doesn’t bode as well for people taking you seriously. As a young person, I feel that people tend to respect that hard working go-getter no bullshit person more than the bubbly and happy one. I’m not saying be cold to people…smile and chit chat a bit…but then get right back on the subject; Anything I can do for you sir/ma'am?. You’ll win in the end….



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Sinnin or Winnin?

Officially putting myself back on the market as of today.

I’m tired of being single! It was fun while it lasted, but I was lying to myself!! I told myself… Southern…you like being single. You like having “options” and being able to just do "whatever" whenever. The problem was…I didn’t do “whatever” because I didn’t feel comfortable doing that while not in a relationship. Isnt that something?

Vegas was a real eye opener. Firstly, as I always do, I told myself I was going to have a great time. You’re going to meet some hot (and nice) guy and hang out, make a real connection, and maybe hook up. Now…here’s the real me. I don’t hook up with random guys- I’ve got too many body concerns and I’m afraid of STD’s. I don’t trust anyone with my life. Even when I’m BLACKOUT drunk…I still have the common sense not to go wandering off with some random guy.

Well…as I stated before…Vegas was an eye opener. I had told myself that I wouldn’t risk my life for the sake of fun and that, as long as I was cautious with who I spent my time with, I’d be fine. I’d have my brothers and a friend nearby so I’d definitely always be safe. The very first night…I ended up in a club by myself lol. I was ditched…probably for strippers or something like that... Worst part? I didn’t care! I wanted to be alone- maybe meet a guy- maybe go back to his room. ITS FUCKIN VEGAS! So here I am at the bar buying myself a shot when a guy comes up and pays for it for me. Cool…I’m thinking….this is a good start. I wander around the club dancing with this guy for a bit and then, of course, I have to pee. It takes me about 30 minutes to even GET TO the bathroom and then I wait in line for like 20 and when I finally come out…I can’t find that guy. Its way too crowded to try and wander around looking for him so I again just get on the dance floor and dance. I’m pleasantly tipsy by this point and I just don’t give a damn. I headed to the bar again on a lame song and decide to get a mixed drink instead of a shot. Another guy buys it and as we drink, we get to talking. Enjoying our convo (can’t tell you for the life of me what it was about now…lol) we head to the back of the club where there are booths to sit in. It was slightly awkward because his friends would appear every so often and gesture and make those goofy “OOOO You’re going to get some” faces and noises that they think girls are too stupid to know about. I’m tired so I tell him that I’m ready to go. As we near Harrah’s (where I stayed)…he smiles and says that this is also his hotel. Opportunity? Is that you? I opt out of doing anything this night…though I did insinuate that maaaaaaybe something could happen. We make a lunch and dinner date for the next day and I go to my room. Night 1 was fun!

I guess I’ll spoil it for you guys- I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THIS GUY!!! Lol! I could have…but I didn’t want to. I just didn’t feel right about it. The next day was the same guy, same situation. Out drinking and dancing...blah blah blah. He was really drunk and I had been picking on him all night so, as we were leaving, I said I’ll walk you back to your room to make sure YOU make it home tonight. That is so OBVIOUS but I thought I’d gauge his reaction. This is as close as I had come to wanting to hook up in years so…why not? Um…HELL NO! We grabbed some food and headed to his room. By the time we got there… PUKING. This guy was SICK! We walked in the door and he started puking all over the place. I went into… “mother” mode or something. Took off his clothes…dragged him to the toilet…patted him on the back and got him water while he puked. When it finally slowed down…I flopped him in his bed on his side (so he wouldn’t choke) and I sat there waiting for his friends to come back. I waited for about an hour…then…realizing that they’d see him on his bed half naked and assume stuff…I left! Ruined it for me. I probably might have done something with this guy. Needless to say…we didn’t hang out the next day or anything like that. I know…its not his fault…but I saw him half naked (didn’t want him to puke on his clothes) with upchuck all over him. Not a good vision.

The next day I went clubbing sans brothers and decided to get fucked up and find a new guy to chit chat with and have fun! I spent the night dancing with some random guy the entire night. We kept running to the bar and buying shots or drinks and got sooooo messed up that we couldn’t find the beat if we wanted to. THAT was fun. There was no one else there but me and him. Realizing that I might do something bad though…I parted ways and headed home. ANTICLIMATIC? I know!!! I’m so dumb sometimes!

Anyway…I’m gonna snag a man here in Atlanta. I’m tired of being single! Updates on that soon!
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Backtracking Businesses & Gon' Postal Applicants

I have a great feeling about this week.  It SEEMS like the universe is finally responding to my more positive energy & outlook on my... situation.  Today I woke up to a legitimate personal reply to an application I'd sent out this past Friday.

I'd applied for a bunch of openings and was excited to read that a top PR firm wanted me to come in and interview for a position.  As I read the email, I tried to recall exactly what the position was so I did a backtrack Google search only to find that my excitement was about an UNPAID internship. "Okay," I thought, "It's a new experience for the resume and potentially a gateway position."  Two hours later, I get an email from the same PR firm saying "We apologize, but we've just found out the position has already been filled internally."

WAMP WAMP WAMP!  HR - get it together.

I shrugged this off because, after all, it was an UNPAID internship, and I would have lost a ton of money (that I don't have) traveling to and from the city.

After moving on and sending out a few more applications, I get an email from another potential employer.  This time it's from a music production company that is holding auditions for... "unknown."  They're apparently looking for contemporary singers that can dance, and since I do both, on Friday I'd directed them to my MySpace page for sound clips and pics.  Sure enough, they replied saying they'd like for me to come in and audition on this Wednesday, 7/15.  

Those who know me know that I buck up at most things involving music.  Even so, I was unclear about what I was actually auditioning for, so I sent them a follow-up email.  To my amazement they replied immediately, telling me the audition is for new singers in a high-end NYC event band.  AGAIN, another unconventional job opportunity, but I was still happy.  I love to audition, and the role would mean performance experience, exposure, and linkage to talented musicians.  The email said I would have to perform an uptempo song along with a ballad from a short list of selections - I will likely do "Sign Sealed Delivered" and "At Last."

Amidst my excitement and initial preparation for the audition (2 days away), I get an apologetic email from the music production company saying, "We're sorry.  The audition is actually on the 23rd."  These people better not be yanking my chain! So much for thinking things were happening quickly!

But here's my question - When am I going to get responses to the conventional employment applications that I sent out?  Or am I to expect the "recession status quo" on that front?  All I know is the employers/hiring officers for these alternative positions need to get their acts together before emailing applicants and scheduling interviews.  Times are tough and you never know.  One "accidental" email, like the ones I received, if sent to the wrong down-on-his-luck individual may send him over the edge.

We don't want people to start going postal.  Heck, I don't want to have to go postal! ...ha (jk?)

Be well, Read more...

*Highlights* - The Cure for Thin Eyebrows?

Um...well

I GUESS this can work, too...




I think it's totally UGHtastic.

What do you think?

How sexy I think this is:

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*Highlights* Hung!

New Favorite SHOW!!!!




While this may seem odd...last week, my family and I happened to catch the first episode of this show and we love it. The premise: A high school basketball coach who is VERY down on his luck realizes he needs to do something to get more money. He turns to...well...marketing his best feature: his penis. Hilarity ensues...


5/5 for LARGE PENISES!







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Unemployment Advice from the Unemployed

Unemployment is BAD @ NOW! Period. 

My situation is my situation, and I'll deal with that on Mondays, but for every other young college graduate struggling to find a job, just know you are by no means alone.

So how do we cope in these economic times?  Employers are only hiring the most experienced & specialized or the applicants with the lowest wage expectations and greatest likelihood of staying in the position long term.   Does this mean the average college graduate with a B.A. is screwed?

Well let's see - You could take the dreamer route and use this "down time" as your chance to explore your interests and possible entrepreneurial exploits.  You could also choose to get involved with a non-profit or service organization and do good for the community... OH WAIT!

  

- You have college loans!  Maybe grad school loans!

- You pay your cell phone bill every month!

- You are paying for health insurance each month in case the thin veil of protection that is "youth" tears!

- You want to enjoy 20s (i.e. have a social life)!

OH and the "public good" organizations that you can "fall back on and work for"...yeah, they're application processes is just as demanding and fruitless as those for private sector positions.  Not to mention the thousands of peers all vying for the same low-paying, soul-fulfilling, wallet quenching job.

Hmmph.  I hate to sound pessimistic, so take my word for it - I'm not.  I'm just being a realist and presenting the Real World that we are all presently confronting... together.  These times are calling on ALL of us, even the ones who feel they've earned and deserve top-notch employment, to "man up" and be that persistent pest that you've always despised. You've got to hunt down that measly job like you're a rabid bear that just woke up from 3 months of hibernation (possibly a year in some of your cases), and ferociously hunt down that prey.  Even if you end up with just a few wild berries, food is food. A job is a job.  Experience is experience.

You don't want a gaping HOLE in your resume so occupy your time in some meaningful way.  Start your own business with friends, be PRO-ACTIVE with your goals, and put it ALL on the resume.

Lastly, we're all going to have to drop our pride and accept the fact that in this climate, it's about WHO YOU KNOW.  Yes, you've heard it a dozen times, so how about you wisen up, accept it as truth, and act on it.  Call those contacts that you barely know. Send them emails every other day.  USE those acquaintances that you actually can't stand.  After all, if they were in your shoes, they'd probably use you in a heartbeat to get some career advancement.

Should you go back to school?  Sure, if you actually WANT to!  Don't be a fool though.  Don't think that deferring reality with more education will make your life any better in the future, because YOUR TRUTH will reveal itself in the end.  You'll either have the additional degree, a good position, and a happy life, or still more debt, and THE SAME AMOUNT OF ANXIETY AND CONFUSION YOU HAVE NOW.

GET UP and DO SOMETHING. Clocks don't stop and time won't wait.

Be well,

p.s. I wrote this post for you but mostly so that I can read the wisdom I have internally and finally act on it outwardly.  Hopefully you will do the same.

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