Sinnin or Winnin?

Officially putting myself back on the market as of today.

I’m tired of being single! It was fun while it lasted, but I was lying to myself!! I told myself… Southern…you like being single. You like having “options” and being able to just do "whatever" whenever. The problem was…I didn’t do “whatever” because I didn’t feel comfortable doing that while not in a relationship. Isnt that something?

Vegas was a real eye opener. Firstly, as I always do, I told myself I was going to have a great time. You’re going to meet some hot (and nice) guy and hang out, make a real connection, and maybe hook up. Now…here’s the real me. I don’t hook up with random guys- I’ve got too many body concerns and I’m afraid of STD’s. I don’t trust anyone with my life. Even when I’m BLACKOUT drunk…I still have the common sense not to go wandering off with some random guy.

Well…as I stated before…Vegas was an eye opener. I had told myself that I wouldn’t risk my life for the sake of fun and that, as long as I was cautious with who I spent my time with, I’d be fine. I’d have my brothers and a friend nearby so I’d definitely always be safe. The very first night…I ended up in a club by myself lol. I was ditched…probably for strippers or something like that... Worst part? I didn’t care! I wanted to be alone- maybe meet a guy- maybe go back to his room. ITS FUCKIN VEGAS! So here I am at the bar buying myself a shot when a guy comes up and pays for it for me. Cool…I’m thinking….this is a good start. I wander around the club dancing with this guy for a bit and then, of course, I have to pee. It takes me about 30 minutes to even GET TO the bathroom and then I wait in line for like 20 and when I finally come out…I can’t find that guy. Its way too crowded to try and wander around looking for him so I again just get on the dance floor and dance. I’m pleasantly tipsy by this point and I just don’t give a damn. I headed to the bar again on a lame song and decide to get a mixed drink instead of a shot. Another guy buys it and as we drink, we get to talking. Enjoying our convo (can’t tell you for the life of me what it was about now…lol) we head to the back of the club where there are booths to sit in. It was slightly awkward because his friends would appear every so often and gesture and make those goofy “OOOO You’re going to get some” faces and noises that they think girls are too stupid to know about. I’m tired so I tell him that I’m ready to go. As we near Harrah’s (where I stayed)…he smiles and says that this is also his hotel. Opportunity? Is that you? I opt out of doing anything this night…though I did insinuate that maaaaaaybe something could happen. We make a lunch and dinner date for the next day and I go to my room. Night 1 was fun!

I guess I’ll spoil it for you guys- I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THIS GUY!!! Lol! I could have…but I didn’t want to. I just didn’t feel right about it. The next day was the same guy, same situation. Out drinking and dancing...blah blah blah. He was really drunk and I had been picking on him all night so, as we were leaving, I said I’ll walk you back to your room to make sure YOU make it home tonight. That is so OBVIOUS but I thought I’d gauge his reaction. This is as close as I had come to wanting to hook up in years so…why not? Um…HELL NO! We grabbed some food and headed to his room. By the time we got there… PUKING. This guy was SICK! We walked in the door and he started puking all over the place. I went into… “mother” mode or something. Took off his clothes…dragged him to the toilet…patted him on the back and got him water while he puked. When it finally slowed down…I flopped him in his bed on his side (so he wouldn’t choke) and I sat there waiting for his friends to come back. I waited for about an hour…then…realizing that they’d see him on his bed half naked and assume stuff…I left! Ruined it for me. I probably might have done something with this guy. Needless to say…we didn’t hang out the next day or anything like that. I know…its not his fault…but I saw him half naked (didn’t want him to puke on his clothes) with upchuck all over him. Not a good vision.

The next day I went clubbing sans brothers and decided to get fucked up and find a new guy to chit chat with and have fun! I spent the night dancing with some random guy the entire night. We kept running to the bar and buying shots or drinks and got sooooo messed up that we couldn’t find the beat if we wanted to. THAT was fun. There was no one else there but me and him. Realizing that I might do something bad though…I parted ways and headed home. ANTICLIMATIC? I know!!! I’m so dumb sometimes!

Anyway…I’m gonna snag a man here in Atlanta. I’m tired of being single! Updates on that soon!