Workplace Swagger

Friendly guy? Bitchy Girl?

One of the things that confronts us young people when we're about to start a first or new job is...how we should be perceived by our peers. Where do you place yourself in the office personality game? I personally chose to be the helpful and friendly girl and quickly made friends with most of my staff. And, as some of you may recall, I was in the tough position of almost being fired . So what went wrong? Part of my problem was that two of the secretaries I work for did not like me. When I started here…I noticed that those two were always off together and giving me and others dirty looks. None of the paralegals or other secretaries like them at all...the side of the building they work on is ALWAYS deserted...a whole side of a building lol! I decided not to be fake and pretend to be in love with them…but rather…say my good mornings and steer clear. I didn’t like one in particular- as evidenced here . Looking back, that may have been a mistake.

Is it smarter to stay under the radar at work? I don’t know for every case, but for my own, YES! The guy before me had no problems here. The reasons behind that could be a number of things; he was a very cute guy, dark hair blue eyes…the brooding type. The quiet one that you know is probably good in bed. The two secretaries? Two older women- one divorced and one unhappy in her marriage. Hm… they probably had fantasies all day about this guy. This guy stuck to himself- half the people I work for now don’t even know his name anymore! But he did his job quickly and efficiently so no one complained. A year later (yes…my one year mark has just passed!) I’m in charge and it is totally different. Let me start by clearing some things up for you. I’m not a lazy slob…I’ll just put that out there. The work has more than doubled since he left and I barely have time in a day to do anything. I’m often being called and asked to do things that aren’t in my job description and I never say no…He was the first in this position so half of the team was reluctant to use him- they didn’t know if they could trust someone else with their work. That’s alllll gone! I get asked to do ANY and EVERY thing now and I’ve got more attorneys and secretaries over me then he had. The first 5 months…I would do about 3 hours of work a day. That’s all there was. The rest of the time…I’d go and talk to people, excluding those two women of course, and get to know them and learn about them. Now…I often have to come in on weekends (I will be coming in on Saturday *tears*) to even just CATCH UP. I haven’t cleared a queue for a secretary since December…I can’t!

But my main problem was in establishing friendships with a certain sect of people. I like these women a lot- though we have nothing in common (they’re in their 30 and 40s with kids and marriages etc) but, the other two secretaries, don’t like them. So, without realizing it, I chose sides. That was the end there. It has been a struggle to stay above water and my ever increasing workload isn’t helping. Once I realized that I was doomed…there was no repairing that relationship. Every day I come in wondering if there’s going to be an e-mail telling me that HR wants to talk to me. I did the friendly thing- I know people’s children’s names and their dreams and all of that but I guess as a young professional…I should have spent more time asserting myself. Going to ask EVERYONE for additional work and forging…not friendships…but professional relationships with everyone. Despite what the tone of some of my posts exude…I am a friendly person. That has been my biggest downfall here. I dodged one round of firings but I know that if there is another one…I’m out. After my last close call…I have taken all of my personal stuff home so that I just have to grab my purse and go when I’m fired. Not IF I’m fired…when….

My advice…be friendly but professional with EVERYONE. I think that the friendly role is great but that it doesn’t bode as well for people taking you seriously. As a young person, I feel that people tend to respect that hard working go-getter no bullshit person more than the bubbly and happy one. I’m not saying be cold to people…smile and chit chat a bit…but then get right back on the subject; Anything I can do for you sir/ma'am?. You’ll win in the end….