Understanding Erotic Life

I got this from my Abnormal Psych textbook (it's an excellent read)
5 Layers of Erotic Life
each layer builds on top of the one before it

Keep in mind that each layer has a large range of norms, too.
My textbook just concentrates on the "abnormal" parts...The cover of the book does not lie
1. Gender Identity- our awareness of being male or female; usually coincides with genitals
gender identity disorder (transsexualism)- dissociation of gender identity and sexual organs; trapped in the wrong gender's body
male-to-female transsexual - a man who feels that he is a woman trapped in a man's body, wants to be rid of his genitals, wants female sexual characteristics, and wants to live as a woman
female-to-male - a woman who feels she is trapped in a man's body, wants to acquire male characteristics, and wants to live as a man
transsexualism is chronic- does not disappear spontaneously
therapy- sex reassignment (sex-change surgery)
2. Sexual Orientation- who do you fall in love with? Our erotic fantasies dictate our sexual orientation
no disorders at this layer
(Orientation...it's like which way are we facing?
Sexual disorders are conditions that grossly impair affectionate sexual relations between two human beings.
Being gay or bisexual does not impair affectionate sexual relations between two human beings)
Basic orientations are homosexual and heterosexual with a continuum of bisexuality in between.
3. Sexual Preference/ Sexual Interest- the types of persons, parts of the body, and situations that are the objects of your sexual fantasies and arousal
paraphilia- sexual interest is so disoriented that it impairs the capacity for affectionate erotic relations between human beings (Greek "love of [philia] what is beyond [para]")
- comprises of an array of unusual objects and situations
3 Categories
A) sexual arousal and preference for nonhuman objects including
fetishes (derive sexual arousal from nonliving objects) and
transvestism/transvestic fetishism (persistently dresses in clothes of opposite gender to achieve sexual arousal)
B) sexual arousal and preference for situations that involve suffering and humiliation including
sadism (deriving sexual arousal by repeatedly and intentionally inflicting pain and humiliation upon others) and
masochism (deriving sexual arousal from engaging in activities that repeatedly and intentionally inflict suffering and humiliation upon themselves)
C) sexual arousal and preference for nonconsenting partners including
exhibitionism (exposing genitals to unwitting and unwilling strangers),
voyeurism (observing the naked body, the disrobing, or the sexual activity of an unsuspecting victim),
telephone scatalogia (recurrent and intense sexual urges to make obscene calls to nonconsenting individuals),
frotteurism (touching and rubbing against a nonconsenting person usually in crowded places),
pedophilia (sexual relations with children below the age of puberty, the age at which we consider it reasonable for a person to be able to give mature consent)
4. Sex Role- public expression of gender identity, what an individual says or does to indicate gender
no defined categories of disorder at this level
...some women are "manly" and some men are "girly" and some conform to societal gender roles
5. Sexual Performance or Functioning- how adequately you perform when you are with a suitable person in a suitable erotic setting; Do desire, arousal, and orgasm occur?
Problems at this level are called sexual "dysfunctions"
sexual response consists of four phases
1. erotic desire
2. physical excitement
3. orgasm
4. resolution
Dysfunction is possible at the first 3 phases. There are also sexual pain disorders (extreme pain associated with intercourse). Dysfunctions can occur in either gender.

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Southern Substance's Stance ...

On Homosexuality.

This is a topic that is very important to me and I am very impassioned about it. I am open to dialogue if you disagree - but these are my views!

As mentioned in a comment that I made to Musecatto's post on the subject- who cares what people do in the privacy of their bedrooms!? And if we are taking a religious slant in judging.. I'm the wrong one. After all this controversy with churches (pastors + little boys) I am disillusioned and have begun to worship and try to find God on my own. That being considered, my view of God and heaven etc is probably very skewed in your minds. I don't forsee two people being in love who just happen to be the same sex as burning in hell. I dont think my God ( the one in my head :) ) would condemn two people in love when He created love itself. I have heard my gay friends speaking about knowing they were gay as early as 3 or 4 and feeling it as natural. Do I sit here every day and say to myself "You are straight..look at that boy over there...yep...he's hot". No... my body does not need coaching - its natural. That's how they relate that they have felt.... Who can condemn nature?

I was not always as open-minded...but upon meeting my gay friends and having many, many talks with them...I realized how ignorant I was. I now defend gay rights like no other and truly believe that they should have the same rights as any other couple, whether that be the right to adopt children freely, health benefits, and marriage, among others.

I go head-to-head with people about this all the time, but perhaps most chilling/revealing to me, is the black population's willingness to condemn people based on physical/emotional attributes when we have suffered so much for the same things. When I hear them use the word "Faggot/Fag" (sorry...) I get upset because I equate those words to "Nigger" (again...sorry). Both groups have lost countless because of those words- how are they any different? When they bring up gays "Flaunting their sin" in gay pride parades or holding hands with their partners, I mention that all PDA should be banned. I'm single so that couple over there holding hands offends me. How about that?

I know a lot of people wont agree with me, but I have to say it: I believe that the struggles of gays are close, if not equivalent, to the struggles of blacks and other minority groups. Have we forgotten that it was not that long ago that blacks could not control who they married and were condemned and/or killed for, say, engaging in relations with a white woman. How far have we come? We are still fighting and, while doing so, we decide to stop to take a detour to tell gays that they don't deserve the rights we fought for 'cuz you know, we were born black and they can just, you know, marry a chick or something. Get out of here...

You can disagree and not condemn people - engage in some conversation. Maybe you'll still feel the same way afterwards or maybe, like me, your minds will change. Read more...

What's Your Position?

This week's topic is in the realm of sexuality with a spotlight on homosexuality.

I didn't really have exposure to homosexuality until high school. Television growing up kind of shied away from this topic. When Ellen came out, it was such a big deal to everyone. I didn't think it was so newsworthy. I still don't think that famous people coming out is really that big of a deal. Or rather, I don't think it should be a big deal to the general public. 1. It's a private matter. 2. Be tolerant, people.

I preach tolerance. I practice acceptance. I'm not saying I'm perfect and practice it to the T or even close to it. But I expect, at the very least, tolerance from myself and others.

One of the many things about sexuality that I find intriguing is gays in the "'hood."

I'm friends with one...I don't want to say "unsavory" character... because believe me, he's VERY savory. YUMmmmMMmmM! 6'6", solidly built, and gorgeous. But, he's had a few run-ins with the law. He is NOT the type to be all over myspace with pictures of guns, stacks of cash, random drug paraphernalia, and naked bitches up the wazoo. Virtual thugs...lol there's a whole OTHER conversation to be had about THAT! hahahaha

My dude, let's call him Enigma, is an atypical man of the "streets." Or at least he doesn't conform to the stereotypical "thug." There are many things about him that surprise me and keep me titillated.

He is very secure about his sexuality. Some people say he's gay because: He dresses well. He takes great care of his hygiene. He isn't afraid to talk to girls about skin care or their man's anatomy. But, he's straight. I'm not sure what these other people consider straight. Is he supposed to be a lice-ridden slob that talks about pussy all day everyday? Please. Put down your webcam and get real.

We've had a few conversations about homosexuality. And while he's not cool with the idea of it (yucky and not at all for him), he is tolerant. He has even come to the defense of a few gay men he knows. In one situation he talked about, he tried to get one of his boys to get a grip on himself because his boy's little brother is gay. His boy had beat up his brother, F'd him up bad enough to land him in the hospital, and threatened to hang him off the roof because he was so disgusted with homosexuality. So Enigma kissed another guy on the lips (no tongue) and asked his boy if he would do all that ish to him. Would he treat Enigma the way he treats his own little brother? No. His boy would not mess with Enigma the way he did with his little brother. The guy probably didn't stop emotionally or physically abusing his brother but at least he hasn't put him in the hospital again.

There was another situation where a male acquaintance of Enigma's was being ridiculed and ostracized for cross-dressing. Enigma didn't like the way his friends were treating this guy and they wouldn't stop being assholes about it so Enigma wore a skirt and went around the neighborhood (read: NOT the village) like that all day. Nobody tried to mess with him. I guess his point was proven because his friends stopped being a dick to the cross-dresser. However, Enigma did stop being so nice to the cross-dresser after the guy made a pass at him. It didn't sit so well with him.

He was extreme to prove a point. But he'll draw the line at actually shagging a man.

So what do you think? What would you do in his situation? How far would you go to prove a point? What are you willing to put on the line in the defense of another person?

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Converting the Homophobe?

Yesterday, I was watching a video on one of my favorite YouTube channels. This particular video concerned a young man’s personal "coming out" story as gay.

While listening, I read a few of the comments and came across a user, “H,” who was unabashedly attacking the gay man in the video and essentially damning the entire gay lifestyle. Having several close gay friends, needless to say, I wasn't too thrilled.  By nature, I usually choose to combat irrational emotions with a rational and tempered breakdown of the issue. Here’s the conversation that transpired:

H:  Deep or not you will still go striaght to hell!

       Repent immediately!

Another User:  Who are WE to judge?

H:  I am a human. I can judge who I feel like judging. And according to the Bible, HOMOsexuals AKA those pitiful GAY folk, will burn in hell. I am talking this straight from the Bible, of course not in the same context but you get my drift. If God wanted you to mate with a MALE he would have made you a FEMALE. Stop denying your GENDER! Go watch female porn, do whatever you have to GET RID OF THESE GAT THOUGHTS! It is not right and you will pay for it in the end. REPENT!

Me:  how can you say "I can judge who I feel like judging"? And then you talk about the Bible. Disagree, but don't judge

H:  What are you talking about? What is there to judge? He's homo, he just admitted it in the damn video!! All I am saying is he IS going to hell if he doesn't repent for his sins. Point blank. Why can't you understand that?

Another User: “H” is way too harsh and should not be mean. i am a Christian and i believe it is a sin to be gay but we should love homosexuals and tell them that their sin needs to be removed from their life. God does not give anyone homosexual desires. it is a trick of the devil.

H:  You are correct. And I do admit to coming off a bit too harsh but you know what, I am just fed up with all this nonsense. It seems as though the gays are taking over! The devil is becoming too common and I don't like it. So if I have to come of a little rude, too bad. It is what it is. You cannot be afraid to tell someone they will go to hell if they don't accept Jesus Christ as their personal Lord an savior. They don't listen because they're in denial and know that I'm right.

Me:  You make sense, but I think the problem is that people seem so obsessed with this "sin" and seem to ignore their own countless sins like lying, fornication, cheating, judging, envying. These sins send people to hell as well, and are MUCH more pervasive. Yet, people seem to focus all their energy and feelings on the one "sin" of homosexuality. How can you expect to "convert people" when they don't feel any support from you? That's the main thing...

---User H then sent Me a personal message !!---

H: -- Okay, I get you and I also agree with you. However, being Gay plays a major role on one's life. We all lie or atleast have lied before and it is so easy to kneel and ask God to forgive you for your sins. But when you are gay and want to change, there are major steps to follow and it is hard. I definitely do not ignore my sins, I know I lie, I know I curse, and at times it is hard for me to control that but when I realize it is wrong and continuously ask God for forgiveness. When you are gay, you're whole life is just not the same. It is totally different. When you lie, it is just a lie. But being Gay is just..IDK. It grosses me out to think about it. I don't understand why people can't get over the fact that if you are a man you are meant to be with a woman and Vice Versa.

Me:   I hear you. ... I think about it like this. You're straight, I assume. Imagine if homosexuality was the natural order of things and how God intended it (just imagine). Now imagine heterosexuality was the sin. Think about how difficult it would be for you to hide your heterosexuality, to suppress your desire to be with another man (I think you're a girl, right? haha). Think about how lonely and alone you would feel if you couldn't cuddle with a guy, kiss a guy, express your love for a guy. That's what it would probably be like if you were gay. Sexuality is a HUGE part of life. You're a sexual being. I'm a sexual being. We all have urges. How difficult must it be to try to ignore or deny those urges for an entire lifetime?

You want gays to just accept the fact that men and women are the only proper couple. You want them to just suck it up and find an opposite sex partner to love and be with. But go back to the world I'm having you imagine. Would you be able to easily love and/or be intimate with another woman just because that's what's natural?

Everyone has their own urges and sexual desires. To force people into one way of living (even if that's what God intended) is a hard thing. Choosing to deny yourself and your interests is much more difficult than overcoming lying or a jealous spirit - asking God to forgive you.

I choose not to judge and just leave that part to the one that matters - God. Makes no sense for me to hate people and use all my energy tearing down others, because that's not going to attract people to God, AND it's not my duty. I'm supposed to love, embrace, lead by example, and understand.

H: WOW! That made a lot of sense....and again, I do agree and understand every word you're saying.

But a man who is "gay" has only "gay" thoughts and urges because of the devil. If they just simply repent, accept Jesus into there life then those homosexual thoughts and ways would not be present. It is not because they were born into the wrong body, they would be attracted to the opposite sex if only the devil exited there mind. It is all demons that give them those naughty thoughts.

If I wasn't a Christian, I probably would not care for men loving men and women loving women. It probably wouldn't matter to me at all. But the fact that I am a Christian and I know what is right and what is wrong, it is really hard for me to accept the fact that people are okay with deliberately going agaisnt God's word and doing it with no hesitation.

And I don't hate gays, I just don't agree with their way of life.

But thank you for that "speech"..lol. That was really good.

Me:  haha, no biggie. Didn't mean to go on and on. Yeah, it's a difficult subject, and I completely understand your point of view.

Here's the actual video which I was able to pull from a different internet site:

Be well,

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Southern Substance Style....

“Have you always been this shy and quiet? I can barely hear you when we talk!”

This is a comment I received from one of my co-workers shortly after starting my job. Usually I wouldn’t note such a thing but, in the interest of you getting to know me, I think it perfectly sums up who I am not. In fact, my friends and family would die laughing if they read that or heard it.

Who I am:

This is the space in which I attempt to bribe you and force you into liking me in as few words as possible, so I’m going to make it count! I am a 23 year old, Single, African-American female who currently resides in Georgia. I work for a law firm in downtown Atlanta as a File Clerk, a position that basically does everything the Legal Secretaries, Associates, and Partners do not want to do which, on a day-to-day basis, could be anything (not like that though, you perverts).

I am witty, sarcastic, funny (at least I think so), dedicated, and hard-working when getting paid (lazy when not…don’t judge me!). I used to like writing and singing but, since realizing that I’m not very good at either, I have begun to find other interests. I love drawing and painting though I haven’t done either since graduating from college. I think I have a very artistic side which leans more towards the hands-on and visual arts and less-so on the auditory ones (I tried to hit those Mariah Carey notes… it never went very well).

More about me:

The "Good" Me:

By nature, I am a nurturer. I have always taken in stray animals and nursed them back to health and with humans (lol), I tend to latch on to the weaker of the species. Now this is not saying that I surround myself with weak people at all, but I’m sure that all of my friends and family can attest to the fact that I usually take the side of the less favorable person in an argument and try to lessen the blows towards them. As mischievous (see: BAD) as my little brother always was and as much as he deserved most of the punishments he received, I always stood up for him, often getting myself in trouble and thereby lessening his.

I also think that I am a strong listener. Part of this is because I care about people and want to learn about them and the other part is because I’m nosey and I love being in the loop….What? Damnit…at least I’m honest! I love to give advice, though I often have trouble listening to others’ advice and advising myself. I’m complicated my dears…

Friends and family are important to me…although I have been slacking on both levels as of late due to my crazy schedule. I hate those long distance update calls! Isn’t it weird that you have more to talk about with someone you see everyday then someone you don’t. You no longer know the same people so you cant gossip about what “so and so” was wearing and who is cheating on who. You’re basically left with… “so how’s school…any new flings? Ok well talk to you later”. I mean…I went to five high schools as a kid and always suffered from “new girl” syndrome (brat here…not the spoiled kind…the military kind) and so making solid friends was hard for me and keeping in touch was that much worse. When I was in elementary and early middle school, the moving didn’t bother me. I would just make new friends and go on. When high school came, I resented not being in the “in” crowd because people didn’t ever get a chance to really know me. Each year I could reinvent myself and be someone new if I wanted… Lunch was usually awkward… I would get invited to sit with some group – the jocks usually as I always played basketball or some sport- and would sit there quietly realizing that I had nothing in common with these people and that our “friendship” was only surface deep. Needless to say, those four years at College where I got to make a steady group of friends was amazing therapy to me and it kills me that we don’t all live near each other (they are pretty much centralized in NY). Don’t get me wrong…I have kept in touch with a few high school friends that I managed to keep, but its nothing like it used to be!

P.S. I have a 10 month old baby brother .. eep.

Other Tidbits!!!:

* I am open-minded- I don’t care if you’re gay/straight/bi-sexual/pink/purple/yellow. I don’t judge!
* I love to go out – Making the transition from clubs/parties to more adult-like stuff. Will keep you posted!
* Musical Tastes: Eccentric – you would be thoroughly surprised if you looked at my MP3 player. I have every genre except Opera (haven’t found one yet) and Polka (lol…). Some of my favorites are: Kanye West, Colbie Caillat, Amy Winehouse, Jack Johnson, Fall Out Boy, Lil’ Wayne, 50 Cent etc. The list goes on…
* I love going to the movies – P.S. I hate scary movies!!!!
* I love shopping online- only on payday of course!!!
* I love playing online games (Yea …I’m a nerd) but I love playing video games. Such a good way to relax!
* I love love love everything Italian- I even lived there for a bit! Yummm PASTA!

The "Bad" Me (this list will be very short as I am pretty perfect :) ):

*Lazy
*Procrastinator
*Slow to put things into action (Procrastination needed more emphasis...so here you go...)
*Impatient
*Hate to be disagreed with

That's all I can think of :D.


P.S. I am very WORDY and tend to incorporate STORIES into everything I say and do. I do this to try to relate but often it probably seems I just want to talk about my experiences. I just want you to LOVE MEMEMEMEME.
Anyway...that's enough from me today.

CIAO ~

P.S. this website is hilarious :) icanhascheezburger.com.


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Guy Incog - Who am I?

My moniker on the interwebs is usually Alpha & Omega. That speaks volumes about me I suppose.

I used to write bad poetry then I matured a bit and transitioned to writing bad short stories. With any luck, in a few years I'll be transitioning to writing bad legal briefs and being paid vast amounts of money in exchange. Law school was a natural choice for me. I like long hours, sitting in one spot, and arguing over minutiae until my opponent is reduced to a wasted husk of his former self.

That last point cannot be overstressed. My closest friends have almost uniformly refused to ever debate things with me again. They say that discussions are not a battle but rather an exchange of ideas. I feel that if you're willing to say something, be prepared to throw down. You think that Bush is the worst president ever? I will go after your premise. I will go after your supporting facts. I will mention that C you got freshman year in a course related to the subject and raise the point that your dad's drinking problem might be clouding your judgment. Somewhere in the middle of the histrionics people tend to realize that they should probably just keep their unsolicited opinions to themselves.

Of course, that is ancillary to the real reason I'm going to law school. Once you graduate from college and hit the real world, you learn very quickly that money can in fact buy happiness. Anyone who tells you differently is either rich themselves or on powerful hallucinogens. Money can even buy love, or at least something that approaches it so closely that you, for all intents and purposes, will never be able to tell the difference.

Now, the thing about me is, the person I am today actually is a step forward from the man I used to be. Have you ever had a flashback from a crazy night and cringed? The other day, I was reading an excerpt from a journal that I used to keep. I can only describe the entire event as a shitstorm. At least these days I'm responsible, remember what I do on weekends, and don't leave psyches shattered in my wake, irretrievably altered. Read more...

Gotham Days - Who I Am

Just a little about myself:

Born and raised in Chinatown, New York. 23. Recent graduate of an Ivy by way of Stuy High. (StuyVyLeaguer like another member here.) Aspiring psychologist. But like an aspiring actor, I'm still in my wait staff stage of sorts.

Make no assumptions about me. I don't even dare to make them about myself. Who am I to take but one look at myself and pass judgment?

I'm easygoing and friendly. I love to listen to people. I enjoy new ideas and I appreciate different views on life. I love to be surprised by people. Their stories fascinate me. I live to find exceptional people among a sea of great individuals. Just be sure to introduce yourself to me. I'm terrible at making the first move.

But people can rub me the wrong way pretty easily as well. What pisses me off? I'm not sure. But it would be apparent on my face. It's something I have to work on if I want to function beyond my own bubble.

I love good music. I don't have a favorite genre. I just listen to what's appealing to my own ears at the moment. I've been known to even enjoy some country (who didn't love LeAnn Rimes?). I didn't find American music until I was 9 or 10 and I still don't know a lot about music. But, I know what I like.

I also love music videos. The idea of it is great.

I love movement. There is beauty in athleticism and dance. Dance intrigues me. But mind you, I know nothing about dance. I took kiddy ballet when I was very young and a stupid little bully in the class was the reason I stopped my classes.

I love watching movies. Bad movies. Good movies. I like watching them by myself but I love watching them with company. Unless there is a sex scene somewhere. Then it's just awkward even if it's not my mom next to me.

I try not to make other people feel awkward. I'm sorry if I've ever done that to you. It was unintentional. Golden Rule thing. I hate being put on the spot so I wouldn't do it to you.

Does anyone else play things out in their minds? Wish they could just do this or had the balls to say that? Yea, that's my life. Not my WHOLE life. But enough of it.

I love my family and I love my friends. I have a lot of love but I'm not going to waste it on people that won't appreciate it. With that said, I have wasted plenty of emotions on people that suck. (Not really eloquent there but I can't think of a better word right now.) Even so, I can walk away from those experiences with valuable knowledge. For that, I thank the jerks.

I have my more poetic moments and I can be extremely sensitive, but don't think I won't laugh at my own crass jokes. Or yours either. Hahahahaha

I love to laugh.

It's difficult for me to write about myself because I don't think there is anything absolute about me. Only fools deal with absolutes. But sometimes something will be absolutely something else. I'll let you know about it. I live in memorable moments and this is as good a place as any to share them with the world. See what I see through my mind. Get to know me =)

Now...TO THE BATCAVE!!!

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And to me, this was an amazing find by a friend:
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Musecatto - Who am I?

So who am I?  I guess it's about time for me to open up and disclose a little more about myself.

I'm 23. I'm a college graduate.  I live at home with my family.  I'm a guy.  I'm single.  

I love music.  I love art.  I love good conversation.  I love learning about new things.  I love to observe people - their reactions, tendencies, etc.  I love true friendship (it's been hard to find and retain).

I like to listen.  I like to advise.  I like good movies.  I like traveling. I like dancing.  I like experimenting when I cook (ever made tea pancakes?  Try it).  I like making people smile and encouraging others to achieve their fullest potential.  I like to look past the worst in others and see the best in them.

I'm optimistic and an idealist.  I'm practical and a realist.  No, I do not believe realism and idealism are mutually exclusive.   

I'm often underestimated and misunderstood.

I like all things good and dislike all things evil.  I have a pretty solid moral compass by which I run my life; I have high standards for myself.  That being said, I don't hold my friends to the same standard for two reasons:  1) I'm a patient and open minded person, so I don't impose my beliefs or judge people very often.  2) I know deep down that I wish my friends to live freely and adventurously so that I can live life vicariously through them.

When people meet me, I've found that they will lie or keep secrets from me, out of fear that I'll judge them.  This upsets me.

I'm emotional (mostly empathetic) yet stoic.  I'm gentle but harsh.  Much to the chagrin of my friends and family, I've always valued function over fashion and probably always will.  I'm a firm believer in justice and reciprocity.

I believe all things in life exist on a scale or range.  Very little, if anything, can be categorized as fitting in the boxes and labels we construct as a society.  I think the people who support the "box theories" and categorizations are just afraid of themselves and justifying a conformist mindset.

Believe it or not, I never wanted to grow up.  Even in kindergarten, I remember associating aging with the end of freedom and true contentment.  For the longest time, I had the tendency to always look back because hindsight seemed to offer the prettiest view.  I couldn't appreciate the present because I was too consumed by the "good thing" that just ended.

I believe that our society, in evolving, has messed up in so many major ways.  The fact that we chose a world system based on money and the premise that "institutional education followed by corporate labor equals success" disgusts me.  I've always seen happiness and constant personal growth as the biggest indicators of true success.   Why couldn't society embrace a less competitive and more healthy path that allows us to ENJOY the time we've been given?

I think too much.  I do too little.  I wait too long.  I don't give up on things or people quick enough.  I'm shy.  I'm confident.  I don't always say what I feel.   I don't always mean what I say.  When I compliment you, it's genuine.    

I'm easily awed and enamored with people.  I can only love you if I respect and admire you first.

I've never been in love.  I don't know if I ever want to be - Love and Pain seem synonymous.

My favorite color is yellow.

I want to be happy.  I love the sun.   

...wow, there's so much more (I'll have to do this again in a month or so - it's cathartic).

Oh, this life...

Be well,

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Approaching the Boiling Point!

Okay, I'm officially frustrated and near my breaking point.

The PR firm that so badly wanted to hire me, just got back to me and said I can be on board as a commissioned salesman. What?!

The email essentially said that they really want to hire me, but the economy is too tough right now.  As consequence, they want to use me as a commissioned sales person... (I don't have formal sales experience).  I don't even think I know enough about their company to complete a sale.

This news comes on the heels of what I thought would SURELY get me the position:

1.  The interview with the company founder went perfectly

2.  I passed the PR written test with flying colors

and finally...

3.  Today, I went OUT OF MY WAY to hook the PR firm up with a new potential client.  The client company is a rising star in the beauty/health product industry and has a passion for community work, similar to the PR firm.   I talked extensively with the company owner about her line of products and community work, and then took another 45 minutes crafting an email proposal to the PR firm's CEO and founder about why they should take on this new client.

Well, the PR firm sure was happy to receive my email!  BUT instead of responding with, "You're hired," they basically said "Thanks so much!  This is great!  Can you find out some more details for us about where the client would like to go?  Consider yourself a commissioned sales rep for us, and if you bring in a few more partners, you'll have a job here."

Once again, I'm fed up with the flattery and the fear of commitment that these businesses are showing me.  Take a risk on a good thing, already!  You want fresh ideas?  You want new talent?  Well, you're going to have to take chances and invest.

Maybe I'm just meant to be a contracted PR/Sales/Multifunctional employee that makes his own path in this world.  If so, the coming months are really going to be a test of my will power and inner strength...and my parent's patience.

It seems that in this day and age, structure, security, and the traditional road are out the window.  

Expectations?  They're going to be hard to hold on to...Oh man, 

...Be well you guys

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The Lover's Day is Done

Musecatto here,

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day, whatever that may be for you.

For me, Valentine's Day might as well just be any other calendar day.  Not that I don't believe in love, but I never embraced the idea of a holiday celebrating the commercialization/commodification of love.  Even so, I completely support the expression of love and respect those who use this occasion to show their genuine admiration and appreciation for someone.  

Be it fortunate or unfortunate, I haven't experienced love yet in my "young life."  No worries, though.  Being a naturally introverted person, I've always been comfortable spending V-Day watching TV, doing chores, surfing YouTube, and just relaxing (how I spent today).  I think when you are comfortable ENOUGH with yourself, you can avert the feelings of dependence, loneliness, and longing that this "holiday" often inspires.

The key word, though, is "enough."  We all, to a degree, are comfortable and content with who we are.  But whether or not we've reached the important "enough" threshold is revealed in how we respond on days like today.  

The Scenario:

The country is celebrating love and relationships.  People are kissing, hugging, eating romantic dinners, and sharing roses and candy.

The Question: 

Taking all the excitement and festivities in, do you feel compelled to participate in V-Day or are you truly comfortable being the removed spectator?

My 2 Cents:

Call me naive, but I think the people who first serve as the comfortable spectators later become the lucky ones.  They are the ones who will ultimately find the true kind of "Love" that endures beyond the 24 hours of Valentine's Day.  

Don't rush it.  Love yourself and another's love will find you

Be well.

  

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