Musecatto - Who am I?

So who am I?  I guess it's about time for me to open up and disclose a little more about myself.

I'm 23. I'm a college graduate.  I live at home with my family.  I'm a guy.  I'm single.  

I love music.  I love art.  I love good conversation.  I love learning about new things.  I love to observe people - their reactions, tendencies, etc.  I love true friendship (it's been hard to find and retain).

I like to listen.  I like to advise.  I like good movies.  I like traveling. I like dancing.  I like experimenting when I cook (ever made tea pancakes?  Try it).  I like making people smile and encouraging others to achieve their fullest potential.  I like to look past the worst in others and see the best in them.

I'm optimistic and an idealist.  I'm practical and a realist.  No, I do not believe realism and idealism are mutually exclusive.   

I'm often underestimated and misunderstood.

I like all things good and dislike all things evil.  I have a pretty solid moral compass by which I run my life; I have high standards for myself.  That being said, I don't hold my friends to the same standard for two reasons:  1) I'm a patient and open minded person, so I don't impose my beliefs or judge people very often.  2) I know deep down that I wish my friends to live freely and adventurously so that I can live life vicariously through them.

When people meet me, I've found that they will lie or keep secrets from me, out of fear that I'll judge them.  This upsets me.

I'm emotional (mostly empathetic) yet stoic.  I'm gentle but harsh.  Much to the chagrin of my friends and family, I've always valued function over fashion and probably always will.  I'm a firm believer in justice and reciprocity.

I believe all things in life exist on a scale or range.  Very little, if anything, can be categorized as fitting in the boxes and labels we construct as a society.  I think the people who support the "box theories" and categorizations are just afraid of themselves and justifying a conformist mindset.

Believe it or not, I never wanted to grow up.  Even in kindergarten, I remember associating aging with the end of freedom and true contentment.  For the longest time, I had the tendency to always look back because hindsight seemed to offer the prettiest view.  I couldn't appreciate the present because I was too consumed by the "good thing" that just ended.

I believe that our society, in evolving, has messed up in so many major ways.  The fact that we chose a world system based on money and the premise that "institutional education followed by corporate labor equals success" disgusts me.  I've always seen happiness and constant personal growth as the biggest indicators of true success.   Why couldn't society embrace a less competitive and more healthy path that allows us to ENJOY the time we've been given?

I think too much.  I do too little.  I wait too long.  I don't give up on things or people quick enough.  I'm shy.  I'm confident.  I don't always say what I feel.   I don't always mean what I say.  When I compliment you, it's genuine.    

I'm easily awed and enamored with people.  I can only love you if I respect and admire you first.

I've never been in love.  I don't know if I ever want to be - Love and Pain seem synonymous.

My favorite color is yellow.

I want to be happy.  I love the sun.   

...wow, there's so much more (I'll have to do this again in a month or so - it's cathartic).

Oh, this life...

Be well,