Rage across the universe

Let us do the list.

I should have gone to class. much much more. I still have recurrent nightmares about being in a class that I haven't bothered going to in weeks with a final coming up. While that is a common dream for college students, it was a reality for me. I typically stopped going to any class with online course notes that wasn't taught by a very select group of professors.

I should have studied. much much more. I typically would give myself the last 12 hours before a test to learn the material. After a nap and dinner, I'd realize that it was physically impossible to read the material in its entirety and, thusly motivated, study in a frenzy for about 6 hours. So about 30 hours of studying per semester.

I should have gone to the gym much much more. I should have eaten much much less. I went from pretty fit to gross. If I'd established good lifestyle habits I'd be in a much better place now.

I should have played less video games. This is a gray area because when I wasn't playing video games, see below.



Lastly, the granddaddy of them all. I should have drank much much less. My God. THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED. I have PTSD-esque flashbacks where I'm just left with the conclusion 'That... was an exceedingly poor choice.' I passed out in public places, licked necks at frat parties and raged from frat to frat for days at a time as my grades tanked.


Now, these have all been very abstract shoulds. They're not things that I necessarily want to change. Just areas that I acknowledge I could have improved in. So what would I change if I had to choose? I'd go to the gym. The other stuff was hella fun and didn't turn out to be a problem for me ultimately.
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College - You WON'T Regret It!

If Only! If ONLY!

Why is it that clarity always comes AFTER you need it? When I was in college, I had no idea what I wanted to be, let alone what I wanted to major in. You see, I was a naïve boy who’d always envisioned college as the place where I’d discover my passion and become an expert in the field of my choice. Boy was I wrong. By senior year, I’d come to accept the fact that college is, more often than not, the place where you discover which interests NOT to pursue.

Whatever. Outside of the academic slip-ups and attendance woes that every mediocre college student has, the main thing I would change is how I spent my "off terms." As soon as I graduated I realized that had I used my off-terms and summers more wisely, I might be in a better spot right now.

Let's break it down:

Unless you are going to graduate school or applying for some enviable position in a corporation/government, forget about your academic mistakes! After all, you can't go back and change the grades. Yes, you most certainly could have done better, but you had your reasons for not performing - motivation, other priorities, problems, etc. It's easy to say you would have been more studious, but a lot of the reasons why you loved college are tied to the non-studious, carefree times. I've already gone through the phases where I beat myself up for "having the wrong friends," poor sleeping habits, and time-consuming extracurriculars. Those "evils," however, were the things that taught me valuable lessons and grew me in the way college is supposed to.

Whenever you start getting stressed because of your lackluster showing in college, remember this: As much as you may regret & recognize the foolishness in many of your choices, you would probably make many of those decisions again because you GAINED so much from them.

Here's the deal...
It's not about what you know but WHO you know. So how does a 22 y.o. grad - you - get to know people in the entertainment (or whatever) industry? INTERNSHIPS.

If you don't have family or friend hook-ups, then you should be spending your undergraduate free terms exploring the industries you might want to work in. While internships are often far from glorious, they provide you with useful social capital - contacts and experience. That, my friends, is what will separate you from the thousands of other recent grad applicants when the good ol' college days are done. What I've found is that, no matter how magnificent the GPA or well-rounded the person, certain industries are so insular that even the brightest applicants get rejected.

Use undergrad to get your foot into as many doors as possible! My mistake was that my only internship was in the financial markets, and although it was a positive experience, today I no longer have any interest in that path. So, I'm high and dry, trying to force open a 2 ton music industry door that won't budge because the people on the inside don't know me. I have the skills and talent to work in the industry; I KNOW THIS. Unfortunately, I didn't apply for the slave labor, bottom of the totem pole internships that many of my peers did. And now those peers are on the inside of the door protecting themselves from any talented outsiders who might threaten their job security.

Do you get what I'm saying?! Apply for an array of internships over your 4 years in college. Meet people in different fields and make your life easier once you graduate. Expand your horizons (travel) and explore (jobs options) during your breaks. Trust me, you'll be better for it.

Once you're in the real world, you'll never find yourself saying "Man, i wish I hadn't interned or traveled so much." You may however find yourself saying "Man, I wish I'd enjoyed my time in college a bit more." Ask the phi beta kappa graduate. She probably cries herself to sleep every night. Oops, there I go projecting again, hahaha. *No, I was not phi beta kappa, LOL*

Be well, Read more...

Me? Nada!

What would I change about my college experience…?


NOT A DAMN THING!!!!

I genuinely LOVED LOVED LOVED my time spent at Dartmouth. There were few, if any, moments that I regretted making that very hard decision to go there…ok…who am I kidding? It was an IVY!!! There was no way I was passing that up-no matter how much money Vanderbilt offered me. Although…Dartmouth gave me a tiny bit more moolah in the end anyway :).

If I HAD TO change anything about my experience/time spent etc… I would probably change the location. That’s how much fun I had…the only gripe is that I can possibly come up with was that it was in Hanover, F#*k@I( New Hampshire. Lol. I hate cold, I hate snow, but I’m so glad I decided in the end to go there. I have never had so much fun in my life! I guess I am partly glad it was in the middle of nowhere though. Would I have had as much fun or met the people I met if there were other social outlets off-campus in a city somewhere? High school friends talk about going out on the town and not seeing anyone from school. Or meeting some cute guy in a club and realizing they’re both students at the same school. Never happens in Hanover lol. First of all…Dartmouth is tiny! Maybe 6,000 students- MAYBE- and about 1/3 of those are graduate students (Med/Business/Engi) and you never see them really lol. So…you pretty much know everyone by face at least. Also, there’s NOTHING in the off-campus area to do (well you could ski/hike and crap like that- if you like the outdoors…). Any major events, attractions, etc. are brought in by Dartmouth and so the town seemingly relies on the College for entertainment.

Don’t let that deter you though- there was no lack of fun stuff to do, concerts, events or parties at Dartmouth. Dartmouth has a huge Greek scene and on any given night you can wander down “Frat Row” and find at least a few houses playing loud music and/or playing pong into the long hours of the night. My friends and I spent more than our fair share of time on Frat row lol. Whenever students came to visit from other colleges (Ny, Boston, Atlanta etc) they had nothing but good things to say and most lamented that they wished they had gone to Dartmouth. It may be in the middle of nowhere- but that seemed to foster a tight-knit and fun community. Plus, I had great friends. We could just meet up anywhere and have so much fun doing nothing. Some of my favorite times were in the Choates just hanging out, or down at the river swimming in the murky water, or working at Lone Pine with half the staff being my friends and the rest of my friends just hanging out with us while we worked. Such a tight group! Also…UJIMA and Collis Late-Night “study” sessions!

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I guess a secondary change I’d make- which I’m sure everyone would say about their own experiences- is to branch out more and try to make more friends. I had a pretty diverse group but there was always room for more and I don’t feel that I met everyone I could have and should have. But who can ever say that they have?! Once I got more comfortable and started branching out, I met some great people. I wish I had started that process sooner.

In the end- I know that Dartmouth was the best place for me and, though it wasn't my first choice, it was the only correct one (I'm sure of it!). If Dartmouth isn't on your list and you're looking for a College, definitely look into it. Good school, great people, and ...this...

Dartmouth Grads the Richest!!!

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Love, Hate, College, Tomfoolery

Regrets? Who doesn't have any? I'm a dweller. I have regrets and then I live my days out thinking about those regrets. It's hard for me to let things go. A lot of my regrets come from knowing that they would be mistakes and making them anyway. I must be a glutton for emotional pain. Some other regrets come from my own naivete and takes me awhile to grasp the magnitude of my own idiocy.

In matters of love, hate, and self realization, there is no better place to sort those things out and make mistakes in those areas than in college.

I'm just glad I have good friends that pull me through my moments of tomfoolery.

There aren't too TOO many things I regret. But there things I still think about.

Academics.
I am NOT proud of my GPA. All those all-nighters were pretty unnecessary. Most of them could have been avoided if I didn't try so hard to make procrastination a hobby. I'm disgusted with my studying habits. Product of high school though. The days were so taxing that I would try to push things back as much as possible just to get some breathing room. Just excuses though.

If I wasn't aiming so high and trying to please everyone else, I would have had a better time studying in China. I skipped a whole year of Chinese when I studied abroad just so that 3rd year Chinese had enough people for a program. It was too flipping hard with a lot of people I didn't like. I would have learned more if I stayed with 2nd year and knew what the hell was going on in class. But other than that, I really did enjoy China and made some good friends on the trip.

As much as I loved "studying" with my friends, I really wish I had taken advantage of those TA sessions and gotten to know my professors. Why didn't I? I don't know. Issues with authority? I don't think so but maybe a slight fear.

Love. Hate. Friendships.
I've made a lot of friends in college. Some, I let go. Some drifted away. But luckily, some friends have become GREAT friends. It would have been nice to branch out a little more, if not for love of friendships then at least for networking. Safe to say, I didn't make it a top priority to make friends in my psych classes. Inferiority thing.

I was genuinely disgusted with some people in college. I probably didn't hide my disgust. I don't hide emotions very well. I can try but something almost always flickers across my face and gives it all away. Someone has even messaged me through my Honesty Box on facebook about that. The message itself offended me. If that person is going to say something about me TO me, say it to my face, not a nasty message through my Honest Box. I mean yes, it's an Honesty Box, but it was so nasty that it seemed like personal beef. If it's that personal, then make it personal, not anonymous.

I didn't find love in college. It's really sad. I didn't find anyone in college. A friend once said to me, "Yes, it may seem like I abandon you guys sometimes but the time I spent away from the group with a significant other was good and you guys probably would be happier if you all had relationships at one point or another." OUCH. But true. I never hated the fact that he had relationships and stopped hanging with the group so much. We were all happy for him. But we all could have been happy for each other, too. I wonder why we didn't find love. What did we do wrong? What did I do wrong?

Self-realizations.
I went into college thinking: PRE-MED!!! HELL YEA!!! Wampwamp. Pre-med at Dartmouth is no joke. Which is fine because I think my true calling is Psychology. If only I'd known that sooner instead of holding on to that pre-med crap for so long which F'd me academically. ARGH!!! (Now I'm thinking maybe I can do physical therapy, too! I'll need some more time with that thought first.)

I also thought that going AWAY for school meant that I can separate myself from the family and just let me be me and that the family can handle things without me. It just ended up being long road trips back and forth but the emotional distance and dependency between the family and me never changed. I probably could have saved myself a lot of time if I went to a school that was closer to home. But I don't think I really regret that all too much. I needed to know for sure. And now I know.

That's it. Amidst all the regrets, I managed to find a lot of good in college. And for that, I love my friends for helping me get through it all. =)
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There's a little magic in all of us

I'm flying out to Cali tomorrow night. Since I'll post a badass update upon my return, all you get now is 3 badass Magic cards.



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Jumbled Mess

Drab and dreary day today and I’m so tired. Life sucks. I just want to sleep it all away.

Aplogizing now for all the typos and grammatical errors in this post. Don't really feel much like editing and re-reading 14 times like I usually do. You can let this one slip!

Was thinking of what would be a good entry but my mind is basically fried. I wrote a few random ones, but none of them felt like I was fully covering the issue or conveying my message successfully. Instead…I guess I’ll just kind of type and let it flow today. Give you a brief view inside my mind.

Been thinking about quitting my job in July. Well… I’m going to apply to some others in May and hopefully by the time July rolls around (my one year mark here) I’ll have somewhere else to work. QT (gas station) is hiring managers and paying twice as much as I get paid here!!! I came here for the experience, as the pay wasn’t exactly what I wanted (Oh and I was a bit desperate), but I need to save some actual money for law school. Havent even broken 5k in my savings yet. I think one year of experience is good…plus you can choose your hours at QT.

Going on a family trip to Vegas in June to burn the last little bit of my vacation hours. We will be there for five days and I plan on being in a drunken haze the entire time. In “training” now to raise my tolerance back to my college levels so that I won’t spend the entire weekend sick or hungover. Meeting some friends there for sinning so it should be a good trip. Wondering how much spending money should I take though. Also need to buy new outfits for the trip. Hopefully I can shed about ten pounds between now and then… Oh and I need a camera.

Birthday’s comin’ up- haven’t decided what I’m going to do. Tired of going clubbing and drinking all the time- I’m tempted to go to Six Flags instead. I haven’t been in so long… I wonder if it will be too crowded on my actual birthday though... Its been raining a lot lately too…shit that would suck. Hopefully I remember to check the forecast and pick a sunny day. Debating just going with my female friends or bringing my brothers along as well. It will be expensive if I bring them as neither one of them has a job…but since I don’t drive, I need a chauffeur lololol. If I do bring them…need a cooler in the car with lunches as I can’t afford to feed their greedy asses. Maybe I can pick a day where one of them is busy so I only have to bring one…Hey, hey- it’s my birthday! I shouldn’t have to spend all of my money! Damn I need to get a license. If I get that job at QT I can afford a car too…I cant drive our car. I hate Cadillacs.

Too much to do at work, though I’m glad we’re not shutting down or anything. This position was created when there was little work and thus, it catered to only having one person. They’ve tripled the amount of people I work for since I started in July though, but there’s still only one me. Other teams have two people in my position…they should get another. Also probably need at least one more paralegal. Maybe if I tell them how many weekend hours I have to pull to try to catch up. Nah…supervisor’s a bitch…she’ll just tell me to figure it out…Come on July!...

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A Colossal College Screw Up!

*The following is a breaking news article posted here, on yahoo.com about a huge college admissions error! Have a look.  I feel sorry for those kids, and I hope you're not one of them!*

Oops! UCSD Sends Acceptance E-mail to Wrong List

University Fails Basic Math, Gives Rejectees Hope

By ERIC S. PAGE
Updated 11:32 AM PDT, Wed, Apr 1, 2009

UC San Diego -- a school for the smart ones, supposedly -- mistakenly congratulated nearly 29,000 applicants on their acceptance, according to university officials.

Earlier this month, about 17,000 students were offered admission for the fall, leaving nearly 29,000 hopefuls out in the cold. But on Tuesday, the school's communications office said an e-mail was sent Monday afternoon to all 46,377 students who applied for admission -- including the 29,000 rejects -- welcoming them to the campus.

A half-hour later, school officials said, they realized their mistake. Almost two hours after the first note went out, a second e-mail was sent, apologizing to 28,889 freshmen applicants for the mistake.

"No member of this department is more acutely aware of the emotional roller-coaster that this could cause for our applicants," Assistant Vice Chancellor Mae W. Brown said.

An anonymous parent told the Los Angeles Times it was a "colossal screw-up."
Similar incidents have happened at other schools -- including Cornell in the recent past, the paper reported -- but the UCSD incident was the biggest "screw-up."

*You can read the official posting of this article by clicking the following link: 

http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/Youre-Out-Youre-In-No-Youre-Out.html?yhp=1

Be well, 

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Young people these days...

LOL

Kids say the darnedest things...and then other kids say those other things that make you do a double take.

I couldn't help but laugh at one of my first graders' journal entry. I had them write about an animal they would turn into if given the option, what they would look like, and what they would do for fun as that animal. I started to edited her spelling but I had to stop. It was too funny!!!

If only work was this awesome everyday. I just wonder what they learn outside of MY classroom...YAY PUBLIC SCHOOL!!! Hahaha!!!

Of course I let them illustrate their ideas, too. Click on the picture to get a better look at it and let hilarity ensue!!! Enjoy!!!

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Corporate America Kills Another

Another casualty. Don't let Corporate America do this to you:



The sad part is, I know a lot of you guys & gals are already where this woman..."was." In fact, much of young corporate America is "living" only a slight variation of this woman's pitiful existence. Did you catch some of the things she said/thought in her familiar drunken stupor? Very entertaining, quite realistic, and somewhat offensive. It makes you wonder how many of your friends are just like her...

So, nothing new is really going on in my life. That's a lie. I've been actively pursuing my music dream, recording songs and writing new material. Actually, starting April 15th I officially begin work on my demo which is very exciting...maybe I'll post a clip or 2 on here so that you guys can have a listen (doubtful). The only difficult part about this romantic dream/life I have is that it's expensive!  I have to spend over $1000 to record my demo music, and need I remind you I'm unemployed?  Recording is an investment to say the least.

The knowledge that I'll be parting with that amount of money shortly has motivated me to seriously consider re-entering hell, "Corporate America."  I even completely updated my Monster.com profile page this past Friday. Hopefully this week I manage to line up a bunch of interviews and finally reestablish a cash flow for myself. In the end, I guess recording the music demo will mainly have to be an extremely intense weekend venture. I just pray that in getting a new job I don't turn out like the woman in the film, with a lifeless existence so far removed from anything positive or meaningful. Corporations can kill. Meh.

Initially, I was pondering a part-time position, but it's probably wisest to pursue a career and full-time work: Be Practical & Be a Dreamer.

I'm just really hoping and praying for balance in my life - A good fail-safe career, money, and a position that affords me the freedom to record and achieve what I'm destined for. Feels like it's the right time. Wouldn't you agree?  

Now if only I could drop this doubtful and cynical spirit that's been plaguing me...and you.

Be well,

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*Highlights* Love Sex Magic

GOTHAM DAYS says:

LOVE. SEX. MAGIC.

What else would I talk about? hahahaha

Just wanted to post Ciara's new joint with JT.



I think it's a fabulous video. Very creative. Very sexual but creative. I have no idea what the song sounds like yet because I'm so mesmerized by the physical aspects. hahahaha Let me know what YOU think!

Level of awe I have for the video:

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*Highlights* - 911- Can I have it My Way?

SOUTHERN SUBSTANCE says:

Ok ...I don't know why there's this sudden explosion of IDIOTS who call 911 because Subway/Burger King didn't get their order right. I mean...what possesses someone to call the cops because their Whopper with cheese is missing cheese!? Now one woman called because they wouldn't give her her money back...I can kind of understand that. I mean...who else do you call in that situation? But everyone else...idiots. Granted...I'd probably just take the $5.00 loss and then just never eat there again...but....lol. You can google and find several of these lately...

Anyway here's a vid of one of these calls...



The amount of idiot points this gets:

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*Highlights* - Fast and Furious!!!

Gotham Days says:

What IS it about the Fast + Furious franchise that's SO appealing to me?! I mean I don't know cars. Sure, I can ID a bunch of logos but I know nothing about the magical inner workings of vehicles. I'm just proud I figured out how to refill the wiper fluid all by myself.

I guess I'm a sucker for adrenaline movies but still...there is just something else about fast cars and more fast cars that does it for me. A little bit of wanting to drive that incredibly fast and be good at it. Something about being that girl in the garage. Shrug. Just a little fantasy.

I am SUPER excited for Fast and Furious!!! The fourth movie in the line-up. How can you NOT be excited?! Watch first. I'll explain the enthusiasm afterward. Watch:



So WHY am I pushing this movie so hard? Because it has all the elements I enjoyed from the three movies that came before this next one.
1. The cast from the The Fast and The Furious (the first one) is back. I liked certain characters in the second and third movies but I really enjoyed the first cast as a whole.
2. Also, The Fast and the Furious had the insanely cool heist-at-high-speeds tricks that the other two movies lacked. I am definitely looking forward to more of that.
3. The plot for 2Fast 2Furious included a purpose to the debauchery other than "We're criminals. We're adrenaline junkies. It's how we do." The characters had motives and motivation. Desperation, really. But it's a powerful motivator.
4. The director of Tokyo Drift is directing this new one. I have to say, Justin Lin's direction may have been the only saving grace on the payroll for a movie about a boy with a deep deep deep southern drawl living in the middle of Japan.


FAST AND FURIOUS comes out this Friday, April 3rd.

SEE YOU THERE!!!

The excitement level for this adrenaline rush:
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*Highlights* - Great 5-Min Movies pt. 3

MUSECATTO says:

As promised, this week we have another set of great 5-min movies to entertain.  The chosen 3 this time around are disturbingly funny.  Why disturbing?  Because chances are you'll be repulsed at several points as you watch, and STILL you'll find yourself unable to pull your eyes away.  Enjoy!

WE ALL did it, picking scabs when we shouldn't. This piece perfectly captures the anxiety, frustration, and itching sensation that scabs cause. The background music does veer on the annoying side, but the plot will completely captivate you. Prepare to be disgusted and enthralled.

This laughably raunchy, & unpredictable film will leave you unsettled.  While certain sections are a bit overdone, the camera work and voyeuristic feel are very successful.  Be careful, the ending may give you the runs!

This comedy will definitely make you LOL at least twice. The misguided love affair, invasive and real cinematography, and hysterical plot tangents make this flick a MUST-SEE!


This week's selections, while pretty darn good, aren't quite Cum Laude like the past two weeks. Still, they graduate with honors, getting 4/5 caps:

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*Highlights* - Good joke

GUY INCOG says:

Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain.

Doctor says "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up."

Man bursts into tears. Says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."

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