China Pt. 2 - "Poop on the Street"

At the suggestion of Southern Substance, I'm posting another entry from my Chinese study abroad journal. Setting: Shanghai, China. This time it was early morning, and I'd just walked two blocks from my apartment on my way to my Kung Fu lesson! Suddenly...

Shanghai might be a really modern and beautiful city, but I don't ever remember seeing a huge pile of human feces on a Beijing Sidewalk ...  The emotions I experienced in this instance:

...............................

*Was going to post something deep earlier today about how all people/s are the same (from observations I've made and such), but I don't feel like struggling with English right now, haha.  You have no idea how hard it's become for me to express my ideas clearly and succinctly.

Ah well

Okay, now I'm getting sad, lol. If only I could turn back the hands of time. Even after the China experience ended, life was so great. I had junior summer on campus with friends and a remarkably eventful senior year. I guess life is really how Anna Nalick wrote in that song a few years back, "Breathe (2am)."

"Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable and life's like an hourglass glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button girl, so cradle your head in your hands.
And breathe...just breathe"

Once again, Be well! Read more...

The RUNS in China...It's an Epic Sport

Chinese food doesn't agree with me...and I'm Chinese.

Well...I guess the difference would be my family is from southern China. We eat vegetables and fish. In the north, where I studied for 3 months, I didn't get a lot of vegetables or fish and everything I ate was GREASY.

gross.

Ok. My time in China...Priceless. Loved seeing my culture and my people's history!

But BOY did I have the runs for 3 months!!! UGH. And this is on top of food poisoning on a 2 week trip.

One thing I learned, is how to hold all that shit in. LITERALLY. I managed to avoid using the SQUATTERS except when I went up a mountain and had to ditch the group when I felt like I was going through menopause...hot one second, freezing the next. I found the ROW of public squatter restrooms I saw as I headed up the mountain. By the time I got to the restrooms, I felt better so I thought I would just pee. The smell as I stepped into the port-o-potty style holes in the ground was UGH!!! I thought, o well. But the second I closed the door the STENCH enveloped me and triggered stomach spasms. In other words: I hurled BIG time.

I have good aim with my projectile vomit. Everything ended up in the hole and I pressed the button on the side of the port-o-potty that moved the bag down like a diaper genie. Awesome.

Obviously there is more to my stay in China other than ughtastic bowel movement. I'll save the boring stuff for another post.

Let this story STEW for a little bit. YUM
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Qué Onda México?

GUEST COLUMN:

When I landed in Mexico, I was broke and without a cell phone. I lost my card running through the Houston airport terminal trying to make my flight and by the time I landed in Mexico, my cell phone had lost all service. I spent my first night with my home-stay family trying to explain how I needed to call America and order a replacement and that it was toll-free. Thank God the father of the house spoke some English and after 12 transfers and two hours later, my new card would be sent by next week. What a way to enter a foreign country right? My family however was more than understanding and helpful.

I would say from there it was smooth sailing but like life, there is never a clear path. Yet, there are all ways green patches.

I spent three months in Puebla, Mexico, from January to March, studying Spanish language and culture through my school's study abroad program. It wasn't like the Mexico that is portrayed in America. Some of the people in Mexico are well-to-do; I mean really well to do. They have their 1% of wealth just like in America. I went to college with kids wearing Burberry handbags, and Gucci and Prada flip-flops.

Besides the classes, I liked spending time and talking with my family the most. I wish I would have spent more time with them. The mother cooked me anything I wanted even though I didn't want much. The father loved talking politics, and the grandson was one of the cutest babies I have ever seen. They taught me so much about the Mexican dynamics of family and how much people loved Barack Obama better than Bush.

Through my program, I climbed pyramids and visited ancient cities like Teohucan where the Aztecs lived. I've walked through a coffee plantation, witnessed the production of chocolate in the form we know it as, and saw how much effort goes into making a rug. I bought a really nice one! Soccer games have more edge to them in Mexico. I learned some colorful new vocabulary that day. On a more dangerous note, I learned old Mexican horses and mountains don't mix, but it may be worth it to see a waterfall.

Too me it felt like I had celebrity status in Mexico, but after a while the staring got boring. Due to Mexico's homogenous population, people started at me, asked me about my hair and how it could be braided, and even took pictures with some of my black friends. Later we learned that a deep-seeded prejudice against Afro-Mexicans exist and those Afro-Mexicans have been exiled. But you wouldn't know it just by asking someone. There is also prejudice against the Native people of Mexico. Looks like Mexico and America have more in common than what they thought.

All in all, I would not trade my experiences in Mexico for the world! I think everyone should at some point in their lives leave their home countries and go exploring. Not on some touristic, happy camera snapping exploring, but more so on a profound culturist approach. I miss the family I stayed with and the people I met their A LOT!! Especially this homosexual guy named Martin, who only spoke in English and loved everything European and the word "Wetback." Problematic, I know, but he was great fun. Oh yeah, one of the best parts was visiting a market that sold silver jewelry at damn near free prices.

-Shayla Mars

Shayla Mars is orignially from the southside of Chicago,IL but now currently goes to school in the wilderness known as Dartmouth College in New Hampshire. She is a Spanish minor and Cultural Studies major.

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ROMA BABY!!

Ciao Roma! Sei stati Belissima! Mi Manca Sempre!



(Goodbye Rome! You were beautiful! I will miss you forever!)

In order to meet my foreign language requirement at Dartmouth, I decided to take Italian rather than Spanish and it was one of the best decisions I have EVER made! After excelling in my courses and getting a better picture of what Rome meant outside of Gladiators and Pasta (mmm PASTA!)…I couldn’t turn down a chance to go see some of the most beautiful architecture, art, sculptures, and of course, men in the world.




I expected a lot from this trip: I wanted to meet a hot Italian guy to show me around the city and teach me the language (/wink), I wanted to eat some of the best food in the world and see some of the greatest art out there, I wanted to make friends with people on my trip, I wanted to have a great time and try new and amazing things.

I got most of my wishes…minus the Italian boytoy lol. Turns out all the guys in Italy are 5’4 LOL. I was sooo nervous about making friends as I knew NONE of the people who happened to be on my trip but it wasn’t a problem at all. The first day after class, I expressed my interest in finding a bar to celebrate and 6 others on my trip wanted to too. Everyone else wanted to go sight seeing (NERDS! We had 3 months to do that :P). There were five main partiers (known on the trip as Le Cinque or The Five) and we made the most of it. First week we got kicked out of a few clubs because one of our buds was drunk and almost fighting. Pretty much every day for the first month we came to class hungover or still drunk. Good times. Especially since I still got better grades than most of the people who stayed home and studied every day!

Found an amazing eatery right by the school which was cheap as well as an internet café where we could go and eat/drink after class while studying together. Also…a gelateria (if you don’t know what this is…your life isn’t complete yet!). Our school was also nestled in among some of the most beautiful and amazing places: Foro Romano, Coliseum, Parthenon (Temple of Athena!) etc etc! Amazing! Of course I also paid a visit to the Vatican (though I'm not Catholic)!

I have so many wonderful memories from the trip…I guess I’ll share:

- Trip to Florence – was an amazing trip! Went down just for a weekend for a “project” but ended up partying our asses off. Stayed in this horrible hostel which had these strict rules. The doors locked at 3 a.m. and they wouldn’t let anyone back in until 8 a.m. aaaaand to top it off…they cleaned the place at 10 a.m. and kicked EVERYONE out until 2 p.m. We had found some amazing club and stayed there until like 5 a.m. and then found some open air party and chilled there for a bit. When we finally got back in the hostel and passed out we were awoken and kicked out for several hours. At that point…I and one friend managed to be not hung over enough to go and see the Statue of David and steal a few pics. Everyone else was too sick to go. That’s how hard we partied!

- Got an almost two week vacation in the middle of the trip (the day after my 21st bday!!!) and me and Le Cinque +2 decided to head South. We went to Sicily for most of that vacation and rented out an apartment right near the beach. AMAZING!!!! We just stocked up on food and liquor and partied for the entire time!!!!! Our apartment was gorgeous and the view was sooo beautiful! We stopped by Pompeii on our way down and visited Positano and Capri as well (GORGEOUS).

- Fammi! One of Le Cinque’s host moms! She was AMAZING- fun, knew where all the parties were, and was rarely home. We crashed at her place a lot after hard nights of partying, even playing drinking games with her. She was AMAZING – I liked her a lot!

I so desperately want to go back but it won’t be the same without those people I went with. It was such an amazing trip and we all cried when we realized that it had to end and we had to go back to the States!! Kept in touch with most of the kids when I got back to school- partying with them and recreating our dinners together- but those things always seem to fade. I kind of wish I could go back to that term and do it all over again though! Che bellissima Viaggia (What a beautiful trip!). Read more...

Hope You Have the Time of Your Life

Traveling abroad was by far the highlight of my college career. I spent a good chunk of time in China, including a 3 month stint living alone and working in Shanghai, China. Here's an excerpt from my journal that I wrote at the time. China was a funny, exciting, challenging, phenomenal place!

One interesting story:

So today, after scoping out two apartments, one of which I've since accepted, I hailed a taxi to take me back to Mike's place. Of course I had no success finding a taxi on the main road, so I had to walk down an abandoned residential street to find one. I get in, and ask "Ni zhidao Hongchao Shanghai Cheng ma?," my destination. The driver responds "Yes. You speak Chinese very well!" (of course he does this in Chinese). So, I get in and after he starts driving, I take notice of the driver's ID picture that is displayed on the dashboard. To my dismay, the picture and the driver sitting next to me look NOTHING alike...very sketchy. Almost immediately the driver says "You are young, maybe 20 years old." I respond by asking "what makes you think that?" His answer, "the skin on your hands is very smooth and taught."!!!! I begin to silently panic. My driver is getting creepier and creepier.

The next thing I notice is that this particular taxi driver is VERY ANIMATED, as in he uses his hands A LOT when speaking. Okay, there's no way to adequately describe his gesticulations or speech, but, basically, the guy was the most FLAMING MAINLAND homosexual I had yet come across in China, haha (Those who know me know that I have nothing against homosexuals).

He and I begin talking about a lot of stuff including why I'm in China, how long, where i've been, the "Japanese devils," friends, salaries, etc. All of a sudden he passes me a white glove and tells me to wipe off the side view mirror. I do so, but as I hand him back the glove, I can't help but think he wanted my fingerprints on it so he could later frame me for the murder of the cab's true driver (need I remind you of the dashboard ID picture!!) No matter, I dismiss the thought....

We continue talking, and I laugh out loud about something. As I do so, I look over at him and he smiles giddily saying "I like you." Once again I am creeped out, because Chinese taxi drivers never behave in this manner...ever! He then proceeds to ask me where I am coming from, and rather than giving him the location of the apartment I'd just agreed to rent, I mention a different one (just didn't want to have worry about walking outside my future apartment one morning and seeing him waiting there for me, haha). So yada yada yada, we talk for a long time, and he ultimately requests that I join him for dinner one night at his rich friend's restaurant. He pulls out the business card for this restaurant, writes down his name and cell number, and gives it to me. WHAT! Mind you he still hadn't explained the picture or what became of the real taxi driver...

*later found out that my driver was covering for the actual cab owner who had called in sick.

Ultimately, I ended up paying 35 kuai for a trip that should have only been 15. The driver got so caught up talking to me and asking me weird questions that he drove at about 10 mph the entire time and missed all the right turns. I really liked the guy, but I was a little pissed about the cost. On the bright side, I got a lot of speaking practice.

Okay, enough and goodnight

I Hope you enjoyed my trip down memory lane. Isn't nostalgia the best?

Be well Read more...

Boo

“Every single thing I value in life has been destroyed. And I am allowed no explanation? I am to suffer hell without any account from heaven? In that case, what is the purpose of reason, Richard Parker? Is it no more than to shine at practicalities-the getting of food, clothing and shelter? Why can’t reason give greater answers? Why can we throw a question further than we can pull in an answer? Why such a vast net if there’s so little fish to catch?”

I like using books/music to deepen my moods. That's probably not as unique as I like to think it is, but I feel my level of enthusiasm for completely immersing myself in a particular mood is refreshing and different. Feeling a sense of loss? Read The Life of Pi. Listen to Lonely Girl. Do them both a dozen times until you're absolutely sure that the only feeling relevant in your life at the moment is loss.

I've been in a foul mood this week. The school that I was 99% sure I'd be attending screwed me, and now I have to change all my plans. I still get to go to a top school for free, but it's not the ideal situation that I'd intended, and I firmly believe that I am destined to receive everything I desire in this world. On top of everything else, the new law school has grades whereas the old one didn't so now I can't just shoot for the middle knowing they'll have no way of telling me apart from the other students.

Now I'll need to make plans to fly across the country again to go apartment hunting. Bleh.

After careful consideration and increasing boredom and loneliness, I've decided to get a job despite not needing one. You'd be surprised how humanizing it is just be be able to interact with people for a mandatory 8 hours a day. On top of that, I'm becoming more and more worried about having to explain away this year of unemployment, so at the very least I'm going to start doing some volunteer work or something. Ideally, volunteer work that can be done from the comfort of my couch.

Oddly enough, these months of couch sitting have become an impetus for heathier living. Since I don't get exercise elsewhere, I make a point of eating (kinda) well and going to the gym several times a week.
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Oh Mother...

My life is a lie...

My mother and I do not get along. There’s this charade of us all being happy and joking and laughing, and that is the case most of the time, but boiling under the surface is this huge cesspool of resentment and pain. It’s like a volcano too…hides in waiting, just barely rumbling, and then it blows. When we go at eachother…it’s dangerous.

I started thinking about it when I read Musecatto’s Entry about him and his parents deciding to make an honest change and improve their relationships. I remarked, to myself, that I’m glad that I didn’t have to do anything like that and that my family and I had a decent relationship. But then I really started to think…and think…and think. The next morning, all hell broke loose giving me a painful reminder that my visible life is probably a lie and I don’t know why.

The next morning, on my way to my bus that I usually take to work…I was remarking on how I didn’t think I could work like this for 30 or more years and that I admired the people who could, like my father. Granted…it’s like 6 a.m. so I’m not thinking clearly but, if my child had said that to me, I wouldn’t get offended. Mom’s like...what the hell have I been doing the last 35 years? Sitting on my ass? Your father’s not all you think he is. Who was the one supporting you when he ran off to Japan and found a new family? That’s when I realized I should have said you didn’t let me finish and that I admired her too. Instead, I snapped back... what the hell do you want me to do? List every person I know who has done whatever I’m making a list about? Then, for the next five minutes I listed everyone who fit the bill. I admire Grandma for working for 30 years. I admire Grandpa and on and on, and then I said, are you happy? Every time I make a list about something I’m going to make sure I put you first and exclude my father since you want me to hate him so much.

Yes…my father wasn’t there when we were really young. My parents divorced shortly after my younger brother was born and have been seemingly at each other’s throats every since. There are two stories of what actually led to our family breaking down…but…obviously both sides are biased. He left…military orders sent him to Japan…and remarried a few years later. My mom struggled to raise us and work and attend school to better herself and I really do appreciate that. But…as a little kid…I didn’t pay attention. I didn’t realize that my dad was rarely sending money down to help in raising us… I didn’t notice. I was fucking three to six years old. When I turned six, she sent us to live with him and every since…he’s been in my life…helping me…giving me money to assist me with whatever and advice. So yes…he failed us…for MAYBE four years. But she allllllways makes it like he was never there for us. You want me to hate him for four years out of 24 that he wasn’t there for me?! Fuck no. He has MORE THAN made it up to me and I’m not going to hate my father just because you do. What she doesn’t realize is…every time she brings this up in that particularly harsh manner (which is always the case)…my resentment for her builds. Who does that to their kids? Puts them in the middle of something like this? Yes…he did you and us wrong…but you don’t shove that down your childs’ throat. As the mature adult…you just have to suck it up and deal. Even now…as a 23 year old…I cry every time she brings this up- I go upstairs and curl up in a ball and just cry on my bed like I’m six again. It’s painful to realize that your parents aren’t the perfect human beings you imagine, and that someone you love so much has wronged you. But I do love my father and I forgive him. Of course I love my mother!! We just definitely need some therapy or something because the resentment is now out of control.

There’s so much more to say on this…maybe I’ll continue next week or start a personal blog as my own therapy. I’ll keep you updated or post a link to my personal blog (if I make one..). Curious to know peoples’ opinions on this. I think I'm going to write my mother a letter as well...one that I'll let you all read and comment on so that I can give it to her. Looking up therapists now... Read more...

Cardiac Arrest

I originally wanted to write about what happened two days ago. I don't know where to begin. I can't really dive right into the story without a beginning. I don't know what to say because I don't know what to think.

So instead of storytime, I'm going to ask some questions that I have.

1. Have you ever cared for someone too much for your own good?
2. Have you ever cried over something someone else thought was trivial?
3. Have you ever attached yourself to someone only to wonder what it is that keeps you chained to them?
4. Have you had hope only to realize you don't know what you're hoping for?
5. If there is emotional infidelity, are there relationships based solely on emotions and nothing more?
6. Have you ever felt like everything you knew could very well be a lie?
7. How does someone choose between living in utopia based on omission of reality and living in reality with a clear perception of the non-existence of utopia?
8. How can I keep going not knowing what is real or what to believe?
9. How can I know everything isn't just a delusion?

These aren't existentialist inquiries or questions of faith. These are doubts of the heart.

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I'm Tired of Being Cozy

Man, why am I so tired when it's Monday morning? The week is just beginning, and I feel like I've been slaving on some project for days ... ... oh wait, I have, lol.

I don't know what it is but my life and motivation schedule is so warped these days. Perhaps it's because I'm on an extended vacation (unemployed), but I only seem to get motivated when the rest of the world is relaxing:

I'll write blog entries at 4am, web design from 10pm to 3am, and do my most substantial amount of work over the weekend. Mind you, I have plenty of time during the week yet I still like cramming work into condensed, pressurized chunks of time. I understand that I was the same way in colllege, but back then I had the excuse of having frequent rehearsals and extracurricular activities. These days, I truly should be the master of my time...so why am I not?

I really feel like time has almost been the dominating party in our relationship, instead of the other way around. I'm supposed to be making good use of the bountiful freedom I've been blessed with. Yes, blessed.

Well, I'm happy to report that I am really getting annoyed with myself - the second step! Step one was acknowledging the problem. At this point I'm practically tired of myself, or my old "tricks" if you will. I think I'll be turning over a new leaf effective immediately. It also helps that my parents are home this week, so they won't be tolerating my abnormal waking and sleeping hours too much.

As you should know by now, I like to identify patterns and trends. In writing this entry, I've come to realize my affinity for "cozy" situations applies even to my work ethic. I don't deal well with open-ended, loose projects because they fail to attract me and hold my attention. If, however, placed in an impossible situation with tight-deadlines and unbeatable odds, I'll gladly perform with due diligence and make it happen. I've just always liked tight, small, enveloping places, I guess both physically and mentally.

Hmm, I'm starting to sense that any outwardly positive change in my life will be quite painful internally. Follow me: I currently gravitate towards cozy things, which could also be categorized as private things; all the good experiences I seek involve others, "the public"...

... So all that rambling just to arrive at a point I already knew:  I am private and need to open up socially, physically, and mentally in order to be successful by world standards.  Again, I guess the important thing is that I'm approaching step 2 - frustration with status quo.

I'll keep you all updated as to my progress with altering my sleeping patterns. I'm finally beginning to crave interaction with the outside world, communication, and a healthier (socially normal) lifestyle. Send positive thoughts my way, please.

Thanks, haha

Oh, how do you like the new Blog layout? I'm proud and enjoying it right now. I hope you are too.

Be well, Read more...

*Highlights* - He a Hot Ghetto Mess!

MUSECATTO says:

You haven't lived until you've spent at least two hours procrastinating during "reading period" (aka Vacation, Break, Party time) on Hotghettomess.com.

All true college students know what this site is, but in case you missed out (I don't know if the site still exists), here's a taste of its sweet goodness. You just never know what to expect. No amount of mental fortitude can prepare you for a TRUE Hot Ghetto Mess!!



Hot Ghetto Mess? Yes. For shocking us with his linguistic prowess and demonstrating just how easy it is to mask the ghetto within, this reporter gets 4 caps. Ain't him funny?!

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*Highlights* - An Asian by any other name...

GOTHAM DAYS says:

...is an Asian with an American-bastardized name.

Betty Brown...Now, who wouldn't want to have HER name?
It's quaint. It's undoubtedly American.
And most importantly, it's easy to pronounce.

She says we, meaning us silly Asians with our unnecessarily difficult names, should change our names so it's easier to pronounce. She doesn't mean just having an alternate "nickname" name to use at school or on a sales associate name tag. She means an OFFICIAL change for purposes of being a good American.

She's a Republican state representative from Texas...take that for what you will.



How psyched I am about doing the Ellis Island dance:

Eh...call me a Russian judge

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Get your Drink on!!!

SOUTHERN SUBSTANCE says:

See more funny videos and Technology Videos at Today's Big Thing.

So um....ok. I don't know ...um...what to say here. Apparenly an underground well has contaminated the drinking water in this CO town so much so, that it's flammable. Many questions here...
1) Who was the first one to attempt to light this? Like what ever makes you go and light your water on fire? Clearly I'm going to try it NOW ...but prior...definitely not.

2) Doesn't methane have a smell or flavor? I dont think it does...but Georgia has laws where a scent of some sort must be added so that it can indeed be smelled... Guess Colorado doesn't...

Anyway...decided to post this for our readers' sake! Do the test and make sure your water is safe!

5/5 for Scientific Experimentation!

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