Boo

“Every single thing I value in life has been destroyed. And I am allowed no explanation? I am to suffer hell without any account from heaven? In that case, what is the purpose of reason, Richard Parker? Is it no more than to shine at practicalities-the getting of food, clothing and shelter? Why can’t reason give greater answers? Why can we throw a question further than we can pull in an answer? Why such a vast net if there’s so little fish to catch?”

I like using books/music to deepen my moods. That's probably not as unique as I like to think it is, but I feel my level of enthusiasm for completely immersing myself in a particular mood is refreshing and different. Feeling a sense of loss? Read The Life of Pi. Listen to Lonely Girl. Do them both a dozen times until you're absolutely sure that the only feeling relevant in your life at the moment is loss.

I've been in a foul mood this week. The school that I was 99% sure I'd be attending screwed me, and now I have to change all my plans. I still get to go to a top school for free, but it's not the ideal situation that I'd intended, and I firmly believe that I am destined to receive everything I desire in this world. On top of everything else, the new law school has grades whereas the old one didn't so now I can't just shoot for the middle knowing they'll have no way of telling me apart from the other students.

Now I'll need to make plans to fly across the country again to go apartment hunting. Bleh.

After careful consideration and increasing boredom and loneliness, I've decided to get a job despite not needing one. You'd be surprised how humanizing it is just be be able to interact with people for a mandatory 8 hours a day. On top of that, I'm becoming more and more worried about having to explain away this year of unemployment, so at the very least I'm going to start doing some volunteer work or something. Ideally, volunteer work that can be done from the comfort of my couch.

Oddly enough, these months of couch sitting have become an impetus for heathier living. Since I don't get exercise elsewhere, I make a point of eating (kinda) well and going to the gym several times a week.