The Growing Pains of College

You ARE a Liar if you think college didn't change you. I mean college did a full overhaul on me, leaving me a gloriously battered banshee male whore with only a semblance of dignity.

... ... I'm seriously kidding... seriously! Come on now.

College DID make me bitter and a much more negative person. Besides seeing my academic performance and moral character slip in college, I also had to constantly deal with obliviously ignorant and judgmental peers. Combine that with the fact that I initially felt many of my relationships were shallow and you get a very frustrated, unhappy person. Eventually, I came to accept that not all people are willing to be for you what you want them to be (even if it would be better for them).

College also made me more confrontational!! After having several "problems" with professors and classmates, I was forced to realize I am my BIGGEST Advocate. Calling meetings with profs and sometimes deans to reconcile issues, getting classmates together to discuss and resolve conflicts, etc. I LEARNED that even if all the facts and "positives" are on your side, people are often stubborn JUST TO BE and require a more aggressive, direct approach.  And I can/have the right to dish it.

I learned to speak my honest thoughts to my friends, for their sake.

I realized that sometimes people change for the worse, and there's nothing you can do about it.

I became much more impulsive, living in "the now" by senior year (I even embraced pong senior year...HERPES CENTRAL *see this post*). 

College changed me in a lot of ways that I'm still trying to fully understand. Most obviously, I became more social. Before college I was a proud functioning introvert who enjoyed spending time alone. These days, I still spend much of my time solo, but I can at least feign excitement and comfort in social settings.

On the opposite end, college severely damaged my self-confidence and belief in my abilities. Being confronted with failure on so many fronts has that affect on a person. Fortunately, the real world has managed to rebuild or put into perspective a lot of what college tore down.

I didn't really dig deep for this entry because it's tricky/I hate talking about it. There were so many changes, and I hated most of them. Even today, I find myself trying to reverse the effects 4 years had on me.

It was still worth it. I grew a ton, and learned through the pain ... ugh

Be well,