Will you be my friend forever? □ Yes □ No □ Maybe

The company I work at has a staff of about 9 or 10, give or take a few volunteers. I'm close to all of ONE person there...and only because she's one of my best friends to start with. Even then, she's only there 1 out of the 6 days I'm there. I'm friendly with most. Cordial at the least (although one guy may beg to differ...he creeped me out first so it's inconsequential). I don't really go clubbing. I don't really attend alumni things. I was never part of a big organization in college. I don't like making calls (I will gladly answer though). Looks like my circles are pretty small.

So will you be my friend forever? I hope so! =) I know I put in my best efforts to keep close friends close and my not so close friends...I don't know..on my list to chat up once in awhile? This is not to say I haven't lost touch with some people. It happens. Some people just stop responding to my efforts. A friendship, even a peripheral one, shouldn't be so damn hard to keep up. If they don't think I'm worth their time, then it was a waste of MY time to even try. But I try nonetheless. I'm stubborn like that. Some others just kind of disappear. Shrug.
If I can't find you on Facebook, well then what else can I do?

I don't measure the depth of my friendship by the amount of interactions we have. Some friends I can have minimal correspondence with and it'd still be great every time we chat or talk on the phone.

I don't ask much from friends. Just that they keep me in mind every so often. Why is it so hard for people to stay friends with me? Am I that forgettable?

PSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHH! Can't be it.
I am UNforgettable!

I give my all to friends. I'm not the most outgoing person but I'm personable. If you ask me for help, I will help as best I can. Sometimes I need reminders (I have a terrible memory) but I'll get to it. I don't keep a tally of favors but I do expect people to reciprocate the same level of commitment. It's an unreasonable expectation, I know. But like all my expectations, I just call it hope and when it doesn't come through...well, it was just hope, right?

It still hurts me when people blow me off or take advantage of me. I dwell on these things. I'm pretty persistent in trying to figure out why. None of the answers make me happy. Sometimes I get really sad about it. Sometimes I blow up. Either way, friendships stay lost and it's NOT happy times.

Post-college, I expected all my friends to still be BEST CRAZIES FOREVER!!! We'd talk! We'd chat! We'd blitz each other forever! I refused to believe that losing contact was a possibility. I mean c'mon. We were college freshmen when Facebook was still TheFacebook and everyone was having fun adding each other left and right. We MADE Facebook. Facebook was how we kept in touch during off terms and study abroads! How can we possibly lose touch?!

LE SIIIIIIIIIIIIGH

I miss a lot of my friends. It's hard sometimes to keep up with people whose lives are going at different paces. My friends that are still in college are living the college life and I can only get so psyched about things I don't have any idea about. But I do appreciate the efforts they put in to try to keep me in the loop. =) My friends that are doing the post-bacc/grad school thing...ALWAYS WITH THE STUDYING! Hahaha It's hard trying to not get in their way. Holla when you get some free time! And my working friends, it's hard to find some time when they're not super worn out after a long workday.

Even so, I manage to stay best of friends with three girls I met in high school. We all went to different colleges. Majored in different things. Work in different parts of the city. But we still see each other every so often and I definitely hit them up on gchat whenever I can. We laugh. We cry. We mostly laugh though. Great times!

So why do some friendships endure? Why do some fizzle out? Why do some shoot themselves right to hell?

I think it's effort. I'm lazy about a lot of things. But I do my share with friendships.

So...check a box and pass that note back already!