Real Dreams aren't free. They cost a lot; dreams cost a whole lot.We are always taught to value security, comfort, and systems. Essentially, the properly trained American has been conditioned to fear "complete freedom" and embrace the "predictable future" - college, job, family, old age, death. We live in a culture where as early as kindergarten, kids are ready and itching to be "grown." They want grown relationships, grown money, grown jobs, and, surprisingly, grown drama. Me, I always have and always will maintain my mantra: "I don't want to grow up, I'm a TOYS 'R US kid!"...maybe drop the second clause.
The fact of the matter is, most of us are too cheap to ever go after them.
I've just always seen through the shallow sales pitch society offers. They told me to get a house, and I thought "why not travel or have 3?" They said get a license and buy a car, and I thought "I like walking. It gets me to where I want to go and keeps me healthy." They told me to get a job, and I thought "Why a have a 'job?' Why can't I just survive off of learning and expressing my gifts." To me, the American dream was simply depressing. I actually saw it as perhaps the best example of depression manifested. From my perspective, the "dream" they sell us is little more than confinement, unfulfilled potential, a distraction if you will, a dead end. It's a one-way street lined with regrets and poorly-traded desires. I want no part in it. Sure, maybe I'll end up there by happenstance but the route I seek allows me to explore life and the time I've been given in the most liberated way possible.
The Road Less-Traveled: You could say Americans promote this concept as well, but that's a lie. Promotion involves more than just lip service but actual follow-through and assistance. Our society provides us every opportunity and resource needed to achieve the "American Dream" - scholarships, commercial reminders, testimonials, loans, grants, organizations, government. Indeed the "American Dream IS promoted. Now compare that to the assistance provided those along the "Road Less-Traveled." ...Yep. Consequently, the high cost I mentioned earlier.
Real Dreams require personal investment, constant maintenance, and a good sense of direction because they will take you everywhere as they evolve.
You all know that I am actively chasing my music dream and have taken a few big first steps. Here's the reality: I have to shell out cash & large amounts of time, I'm really depleting my self-confidence reserves and can't seem to get any substantial "encouragement loans." It appears that the friend/family banks are uneasy about supporting unfamiliar ventures. But hey, my spirits are lifted every time I think about the path I'm on - the mystery, the excitement, the potential. When I think on these things, I am proud.
Actually, the more I think about the costs associated with the less-traveled road, the more I realize they pale in comparison to the price paid for the "dream" society promotes. After all, Money & Time are meant to be used up and spent wisely (the way we choose). Potential & Gifts/Talents on the other hand were meant to be reached and displayed, not discarded.
Again:
Money & Time are meant to be used up and spent wisely (however we choose). Potential & Gifts on the other hand were meant to be reached and displayed, not discarded.
Is it me or does society have this backwards?
Yes, I'm still the same questioning elementary school child with the warped life outlook... No, I won't trade it in.
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I am a lover of comfort and stability. I have been thinking about this lately as I see how depressed most of the attorneys at my firm are. Why is the first question I'm asked whenever someone at this firm realizes I want to be a lawyer is "Are you insane?". The sad part is that I'm starting to realize that I might be more interested in the comforts and stability of life as a lawyer (yum... six-figure income) than actually doing the work. I know I can do the work but I'm scared to try something more rewarding mentally and emotionally because I do want to have wealth... I'd actually love to open my own restaurant or specialty foods store...that seems more exciting and interesting to me. But...it takes a big person to go and open their own restaurant. Months and years of ups and downs and I don't think I can handle that. Plus, I don't like taking chances...
ReplyDeleteDo I do what you're doing and pursue my real dreams or give in and just go for them!? I'm doing a 50-50 deal I think. Do the lawyer thing until my savings is wonderfully set then retire early and/or invest in an up-and-coming restaurant. Let you know how that goes...
You of course know what I'm going to tell you SS. Being a lawyer is a very practical way to establish a nest egg for yourself. Once you know you'll have a roof over your head sink or swim, go open the restaurant. Climb the Andes. Go back to school and study stuff you actually like. Just make sure you're taken care of first because you can't live with the fam forever and the world out there doesn't give a shit about how big your dreams are. If I hadn't saved almost $15,000 before leaving my para job, I would have had to default on this lease for this apartment when I lost my job. Practicality is an extremely good idea.
ReplyDeleteMusse, almost nobody will ever support you on the road less traveled. There are few things harder to stomach than watching someone attempt something that you wish you'd had the courage to do when you were young and full of promise. They want you to fail and give up because then it means that they were right to choose security.
There is a fine balance between practicality and following your dreams.
ReplyDeleteThe road you are considering is less traveled for a reason: it's too dangerous for most. If you start down that path, you need to be aware of the danger, and you need to perservere to succeed. You need to be willing to adapt. That path has a limited sight distance.
I don't mean to be discouraging, because I can tell you that nothing is more life affirming than following your dreams and discovering what you are capable of!
If you want to read an entrepreneur's story. visit my blog at http://heresagem.blogspot.com/
You all have made really interesting points...
ReplyDeleteYour first couple paragraphs read like Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Dad, Poor Dad. I recommend that book to anyone. I will admit I did not like the writing style and it was sometimes painful to get through, BUT the lessons and the open-mind it promotes are WORTHWHILE.
ReplyDeleteI commend your courage. The idea of stability is so ingrained in us from a young age that too few of us do what we truly, in our heart of hearts, want to do. One must fully accept adversity (and really just break free of the constraints of the social construct of money) for an indefinite period of time in order to be free. I think you are doing the right thing by following your dream. Where would we be without those who did? I mean think of FedEx. (Part of the lore of FedEx is that the founder, Frederick W. Smith, wrote a term paper while an undergrad at Yale that first explored the idea of an overnight-delivery service -- and that he received a C from a skeptical professor.)
Discouragement will always be around the corner from yourself and others. Keep fighting and reminding yourself of why you've embarked on this path.
I have always been a planner, latched onto stability and security. I am beginning to challenge those boundaries though. I still want the American Dream, but dictated on my own terms. Good luck and if you need some emotional "encouragement loans" re-read this. Hope this helps. Your post was refreshing!