I Choose Music Over You

Kanye West has a song that says, "I always knew that one day they'd try to bring me down, way down."  Sadly, I always knew this too, and I still let it happen.

Well, I'm sick of people holding me down.  And I'm tired of holding myself back! You see, when you have a realistic dream that you obsessively crave, it is actually more exhausting/draining to NOT chase it. Why?  Because the anxiety and regret that comes from not pursuing your dream ultimately does more damage than any failure or fall ever could. 

Anyone who knows me, knows I LOVE music!   Unfortunately, I'm a singer/songwriter who, up until now, has found every reason not to pursue this single passion of mine.  No one will ever understand how I feel about music, all music.  Thinking back, haha, I recall that one of my short college entrance essays was about my love of the art and how I saw it as a major force in my life.

When I wake up, I think "music."  When I go to sleep at night, my ears are usually enveloped by headphones so that I can continue my connection with melodies and musical soul, as expressed through others.   My mom told me last week that not a day goes by when I don't sing. Of course, I've long known this...and it's time for me to actively do something about it.

So, this coming Sunday I'm going to be performing publicly at a highly respected and popular NY club.  This place is the spot for the "it" crowd, including industry executives and performers. I've got my song picked out and am prepping myself so that I can deliver. Now, as the week passes I'm sure I'll find and HEAR all the reasons why I shouldn't perform. But SCREW IT.  When those doubts arise, I'll remember these thoughts. It's time for MY  change:

Okay, enough stalling.  It’s time for me to just chase the dream
I’ve had enough with telling myself I'm not ready
I’ve had enough with telling myself to wait just a little longer
I’ve had enough with being my own biggest obstacle

AND

I’m done listening to the naysayers
I’m done surrounding myself with lackluster company
I’m done with settling for acquaintances when I deserve friends
I’m done exchanging my trust and friendship for betrayal and confused concepts of love

After all, whose life is this? This is my life.
If I don’t chase my dream, who will?

So forget the “phonies”
Forget the haters
Forget the fickle friends

I’ve wasted enough time
This is my reality, and I have the power to follow Destiny or walk aimlessly
In this moment, I am making the RIGHT decision

...are you?