You blaze into the room- hair flying, stacks of papers in one hand and dragging a heavy rolling suitcase full of files behind with the other. You are on your cell phone barking orders at someone, typing away on your blackberry, still managing to listen to your many voicemails, all the while instructing your secretary to make a list of things to do for the day. Somehow, through all of this, you manage to maintain a cool and collected front, able to multi-task to perfection.
I think I’m in love.
Not like that…I love men…but this woman is amazing. She’s a partner in my firm and I can see why. In fact, I want to be just like her. We’ve got similar personalities when it comes to work; both straightforward and to the point, wanting to get as many things done as possible. Yet, I get frazzled a bit when work starts to pile up and can sometimes let stuff get to me. I even tend to stress about the little things…things that aren’t as problematic as I make them. She’s got a huge caseload and several people under her, including other lawyers with their own cases that she oversees, yet she manages to get it all done efficiently.
She is sharp…in dress and in personality. My first day I happened to pass her in the hall and she did not so much as make eye contact with me as break her stride to let me pass. It's fine…when I’m on a mission…I do the exact same thing. Two weeks ago, I was moved to a desk in front of her office which was a bit intimidating. But it’s a great view…I get to watch her and model my future professional self after her. Though I have been working here since July, she has just learned my name, but at least now she greets me in the morning. And her clothes...obviously I’m not making her type of money here, but wow. Black for her, like me, is a professional must, yet we differ in choice of accessory. 4 inch stilettos aren’t my thing as I’m a bit clumsy…but somehow she manages to pull them off easily with no problems. Also, I’m not a fan of jewelry at all, maybe when I’m making her kind of money that will change.
People fear but respect her; I see lawyers all of the time prepping to go into her office for a meeting, actually going over what they want to say. She always leaves her door open too…so I get to hear her sharpness when they come unprepared and her demeanor when they have done their job. She always wants more though…she will find some obscure thing they didn’t research and send them straight back to the drawing board.
She is unmarried…something I am becoming more accustomed to the idea of as time in this firm passes. Few of the lawyers seem to stay married for long here, and most are single, particularly the female ones. I know why. I have been told that most of these lawyers work at least 6 days a week and ridiculous hours. Though they may stroll in at 11 (I’m jealous), most confess that they get up at around 7 or 8 to start sending e-mails and correspondence or do research, and that when they leave the office, they are still calling clients and taking work home to do as well. When I asked an attorney what he was doing during his time off one weekend, he asked “What is time off?” Needless to say…I probably will not have time for a meaningful and fulfilled relationship nor much time to go out and meet guys. I get weekends off most times and I still don’t have time to meet guys…can’t imagine it after this. Hopefully I meet some Joe in law school…
I think that most people see the professional woman as a controlling bitch and, as I have seen thus far, the really good ones, who do their job to the fullest and get the best promotions, are. Think Devil Wears Prada-style bitch. I know there are nice ones out there who get ahead but I know that there has to be some level of “take no prisoners” in order to get far. While times have changed drastically, women are still oppressed a bit in the work force, and so you have to be strong and forceful…people have to know that you can do the job and handle yourself.
Let my metamorphosis begin…
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
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Hey...Even Miranda in Devil Wears Prada had 3 husbands and two kids...twins...sound good to you? lol
ReplyDeleteI hope lawyers have a good outlet for all that hustle and bustle...Of course our mantra in college was work hard, play hard...Does that apply ever in the real world?
I'm just gonna forgo the marriage thing most likely lol. Unless...like in my comment in your post about being rushed into marriage...I'm able to basically retire early. Then I'll look into that "frivolous" stuff. Its sad when most of the attorneys in my firm have working relations with other attorneys in other firms simply because those attorneys helped with their divorce(s). If I'm not in it for the long haul...why go through the very demanding (and expensive) institution of marriage? Plus I'm pretty capricious and can tire of stuff quickly...don't know if I'm right for marriage anyway lol.
ReplyDeleteThese guys still do party hard surprisingly. I hear them talking about their wild nights out and I know theres some inter-office sex goin' on here. Get in where you fit in lolol! At least you're on the same schedule and realize that that person has no time for you...cuz...you have no time for them! Quick bump and back to work :). Not that I want this for myself either...just saying lol.
Female partners tend to be seen as bitches by the very girls that should be looking up to them. At my firm, the guys would be like "That's one intense chick. I can see why she made partner!" whereas the girls would say "She's so mean! What a bitch!" completely missing the fact that if you want to make partner, you've got to be able to go toe to toe with some extremely competitive alpha males.
ReplyDeleteLawyers party like maniacs. I wouldn't even call it partying. Lawyers rage like college students that know that exams are over. They have money and no inhibitions. After after parties ftw.
Indeed...This one is actually very brief and blunt which, in most cases, is seen as bitchy. I admit it, I am a bitch, so that part is already covered. I do look up to her a lot but you're right...most of the people that warned me that she's a bitch are women. The guys just piss on themselves whenever she calls them to her desk. I got that "take no mess" vibe from day one and I was intrigued. Now that I've seen her in action..yea...that's how I wanna be.
ReplyDeleteIronically enough she just came and started a convo with me (wonder if she reads this?) about her "baby" which happens to be a flowering plant of some sort that has been dying in her office. She's like "Its pretty obvious why I chose not to get married and have kids...I dont even have time to water this plant!". Interesting...
Sterotyping Lesbian Partner's is so 90's My Best Two Fiends's are The Sweetest.Kindest Girl's You would ever Hopr to Meet !!!
ReplyDeleteit's hard for me to justify dedicating all that time to such a job. she sounds like the stereotypical successful business woman. can't there be successful women in business that don't resemble men in personality and then make up for it either by over feminizing themselves (stilettos all day long?) or underdoing it (hilliary's politician bob)?
ReplyDeleteBeily, successful women in business have to be willing to get their ideas out there, maintain control of those ideas and get those ideas realized. In that sense, they do have to act like successful men in business by not taking any shit or pulling punches. A partner doesn't get to be a partner by being best friends with everyone. They get there by being the one that everyone wants to lead them.
ReplyDeleteBeily- interesting POV's but we differ on some things. One- why is wearing a pair of stilettos seen by you as "over-feminizing"? If I wear a pink or purple blouse- something most male attorneys wouldn't do- am I over feminizing myself? Maybe I just like the blouse? I dont think she's consciously sitting there every morning like "What can I do to be more feminine?" this is who she is. Its most likely an subconcious thing where she just thinks those heels are cute and she likes wearing them. Maybe she had a hot date after work and just wore those. Who knows?
ReplyDeleteIn terms of Hilary Clinton- I'm afraid to put too much emphasis on these politicians and their personal styles. One- they usually dont dress themselves or make themselves up, which is why there is such a big uproar about Michelle Obama and her choice of dress. Some stylist said to Hilary "This is what you should look like to look professional" - and she did it. Fine- she didn't personally choose it but someone told her to go with it and she agreed. But this lawyer, I can assure you, does not have a team of stylists or people whispering in her ear saying, "You should look sexy today or wear those stilettos so you look less manly". Would your opinion change if she wore a man's suit and shoes to work? You'd probably then say that she was trying to be just like the men and blend in too much instead of having her own personality/identity which would also be deemed "bad". You can't please everyone- just please yourself!
Anonymous- I dont recall ever calling her a lesbian- I would never do that. Simply assuming someone is gay because they are focused on their career and are unmarried? That's disgusting. My stepsister recently came out to unwelcoming arms in the form of my stepmother (she was kicked out of the house for a while) and I'm sickened by this. I have several gay friends, though no close lesbian ones yet, and I have no problems with gay people (click our "Homosexuality" tab to read more on my views!). I am saddened that you read that I called her a lesbian (if your comment was directed at me) and hope that no one else read my post in this manner.
ReplyDeleteI'm not aiming to please everyone and always be PC in my posts but this is just simply a misreading. I support gay rights to the fullest and have yelled, screamed, and cried right alongside those who feel wronged. I'm upset just reading your message because I hope that you don't actually think of me in that manner!
Guy - i agree. successful people share similar characteristics like intelligence, drive, persistence, etc. but they don't have to share similar personality traits and methods of leading. i think more women should develop their own working styles based on what they know and have learned instead of imitating the men around them.
ReplyDeletesouthern substance - i find it hard to believe that she put on 4 inch stilettos because they looked cute and just forgot that wearing them for 8 hours each day will disfigure her feet over time. maybe she does happen to be one of the few women on this earth that actually is more comfortable in high heels due to the high arch of her foot or maybe she weighs 100 pounds. i just feel that there are a lot of women who work in primarily male environments and feel they must overcompensate for their femininity accordingly. i'm generalizing here, but i've seen enough of this to make such a conclusion.
as for the female politician issue, who knows how much say they have over their appearance. but when a significant number of them all have the same short hair style and wear the same type of amorphous suits, you can't help but think hmmm, what exactly is going on here.
anyway, my point is you can still be yourself and look feminine in a business environment without subscribing to such trends.