Leave Your F*cking Phone On

Classic story...never gets old...


Man backpacks through Europe for 2 weeks...girlfriend FORGETS he's leaving...girlfriends many attempts to get in touch with him during his trip!

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Really busy at work today (too busy to make a real post) so I'll leave you with this diddy for today. Planning on posting on the coonery of Real Housewives of Atlanta shortly (I will be doing extensive research and forcing myself to sit through the train-wreck). :)

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Disney - A Stripper's Tale

Go Britney!
Go Lindsay!
Go Miley!
Go Vanessa! x2!

Since Disney loves producing our nation's next teen idols, I think it would be great if Disney's next flick was a documentary on the lives of its well-bred, corn-fed, underaged, singing and dancing talents. I mean look at the good Disney is doing! Because of this company's time tested program of isolation, exploitation, and expectation, "normal" children are being inspired to sing cute songs (Britney's "I'm a Slave"), act (Miley's acclaimed role as a young Asian girl), and dance (Lindsay's pole tumbling is 5 star apparently?).

Also, Disney's doing wonders for accelerating America's acceptance of very open, honest, and documented sexuality. Thanks to Disney child idols, the female anatomy is no longer a mystery to 6 year old boys. And forget what Mom always said about not walking "out the house without clean underwear on!" Heck, if our rich Disney idols have taught us anything, it's "why wear underwear in the first place?!"

Question: Was Melissa Joan Heart a Disney kid? If so, we've all seen what becomes of the ones who CHOOSE NOT to conform with Disney's strict regimen of lewd public behavior - their careers and social capital start plummeting fast.  Thank goodness Christina Aguilera found the delicate balance between social decency (celebrity suicide) and Disney Rawness (Fame and fortune)!

Hmm, I guess...now that I think about it, this documentary would have an "X" rating. That may not work....no, probably not.

Well, fortunately we don't have to worry! Even without an official Disney documentary, we'll always have E! News, Entertainment Tonight, The Soup, Wendy Williams, and Chelsea Lately to keep us updated on the latest cultural trends inspired by Disney students and alums.

I wonder what the next wave/craze will be. Since leaked nude cell phone pics and exposed VJs are quickly becoming SO last year, maybe Disney kids will start publicly masturbating? Hey, it would do wonders for pent up teen angst, right?

Thanks Disney!

BEFORE DISNEY - PLAIN JANE:         AFTER - MEET "CANDY":

*so glad I didn't have cable growing up* Read more...

*Highlights* - Obama's New Goals for America

Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's



Firstly, I'd like to say that I prefer IHOP over Denny's any day and many of the reasons touched on here are why. COME ON PEOPLE! I dont want to see you in your stained sweatpants and dirty wife beater while I'm trying to enjoy a Sunday brunch after church....fine...after clubbing (dont judge me).

LMAO! I have to say that this is very well done and I wonder how many people will think that this is true and go up in arms. Its freaking hilarious!!


5/5 for a More Realistic Presidential Agenda!





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*Highlights* - Dave Chappelle is a funny man!

Do you want to laugh?

Check these two clips that show the range of Dave Chappelle's comedic style. From a wildly imaginative interpretation of Sesame Street to commentary on social irresponsibility, Chappelle's fame is clearly founded in talent. Hilarious yet Informative. Cynical yet Sensible. Dave Chappelle is a VERY FUNNY MAN!

You'll never look at Sesame Street the same way:


Wow, this video probably opened a lot of eyes:

5 Caps Dave Chappelle!

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*Highlights* - RuPaul's Drag Race - Season 2 Winner?!

A "loose" Drag Queen was spotted on a New York subway earlier this month. Although this particular "Queen" was not involved in any visible competition at the moment, it is still clear that "she" was in her zone and ready to entertain. From her FIERCE walk to her EXPERT POLE HANDLING, we may have actually found RuPaul's Drag Race Season 2 winner! What's more, if this Queen does audition and make the show, it will TRULY, TRULY be a rags to riches fairytale.

Watch this short clip of the future winner seemingly in her "natural" element.  Enjoy the video. It may get you as high as "she" was!


Subway doors may need upgrading if this Queen continues performing her routine for NY's underground commuters.

This Drag Routine gets 4 stars, but only because of the ashy knees:

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*Highlights* - Puke In My Mouth

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

This is how I feel about new school "dancing"....

which basically means some guy runs behind you and slams his crotch into your butt all night. Hate it... lol.

Catchy lil' song and video lol.

5/5 for TRUTH!



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*Highlights* - LMAO, I love MAD TV

MUSECATTO says:

I always have and always will love MAD TV. I admit that toward the end of its run, the cast wasn't as captivating as the Deborah Wilson, Nicole Sullivan, Aries Spears, Alex Borstein, Mo Collins,  Phil Lamarr, Will Sasso, Michael McDonald days...but they had their moments.  See this clip! Every time I watch it, it takes me to a very happy place!

Short and sweet.  THIS CLIP IS FUNNY. It deserves nothing less than 5 caps.  DONE.  I LOVE MAD TV.

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*Highlights* - He a Hot Ghetto Mess!

MUSECATTO says:

You haven't lived until you've spent at least two hours procrastinating during "reading period" (aka Vacation, Break, Party time) on Hotghettomess.com.

All true college students know what this site is, but in case you missed out (I don't know if the site still exists), here's a taste of its sweet goodness. You just never know what to expect. No amount of mental fortitude can prepare you for a TRUE Hot Ghetto Mess!!



Hot Ghetto Mess? Yes. For shocking us with his linguistic prowess and demonstrating just how easy it is to mask the ghetto within, this reporter gets 4 caps. Ain't him funny?!

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*Highlights* - Great 5-Min Movies pt. 3

MUSECATTO says:

As promised, this week we have another set of great 5-min movies to entertain.  The chosen 3 this time around are disturbingly funny.  Why disturbing?  Because chances are you'll be repulsed at several points as you watch, and STILL you'll find yourself unable to pull your eyes away.  Enjoy!

WE ALL did it, picking scabs when we shouldn't. This piece perfectly captures the anxiety, frustration, and itching sensation that scabs cause. The background music does veer on the annoying side, but the plot will completely captivate you. Prepare to be disgusted and enthralled.

This laughably raunchy, & unpredictable film will leave you unsettled.  While certain sections are a bit overdone, the camera work and voyeuristic feel are very successful.  Be careful, the ending may give you the runs!

This comedy will definitely make you LOL at least twice. The misguided love affair, invasive and real cinematography, and hysterical plot tangents make this flick a MUST-SEE!


This week's selections, while pretty darn good, aren't quite Cum Laude like the past two weeks. Still, they graduate with honors, getting 4/5 caps:

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